Chelsea 3-0 Crystal Palace: The one with a dream Premier League debut

Things you love to see

The first match of the season is always a special one. Seeing familiar faces. Catching up after a summer off. But with the pandemic shutting out fans since March of last year - the day started with an even bigger buzz than normal. At least for the fans who still had their seats. With those in charge failing to take care of the match-going fans, nearly one thousand Chelsea supporters found themselves without a seat on opening day - with less than 24 hours notice.

Marcos Alonso chasing a contract extension at Chelsea after Thomas Tuchel revival

Marcos Alonso celebrates scoring against Burnley

It's never a bad idea to strike while the iron's hot. Marcos Alonso has certainly taken that to heart pocked. Having been restored to Chelsea's starting lineup, the left-back is now chasing an extension to his current £150,000-a-week deal which was set to end in 2023.

It was just weeks ago that the defender's people were working hard behind the scenes to try and secure a move away from Stamford Bridge. He was linked with moves to Premier League rivals Crystal Palace and a reunion with Antonio Conte at Inter Milan

Bournemouth 2-2 Chelsea: The one where the Blues were desperate for the Cherries to stay up

Not all heroes wear capes

Chelsea were just five minutes away from allowing relegation threatened Bournemouth to do the double over them. While their away form since the turn of the year has left little to be desired this is not the sort of result for a side looking to solidify their Champions League place for next season.

Following the match, Frank Lampard chalked the result up to little more than a poor ten minute spell in the second half. Which is worrying that he seems to have completely forgotten how the game began.

Chelsea 0-3 Bayern Munich: The one Chelsea faced a Canadian

Olivier Giroud is a whole mood

 Before the season began no one really knew what to expect from this Chelsea side and Frank Lampard. Which means for many hopes had to be managed in terms of what they could reasonably achieve this season. Top six finish? Good cup run? Champions League knockout stages?

They made it a little too exciting to get this far, but this young side against the odds made the Champions League last-16. Only to promptly draw Bayern Munich. And yes, of course, there was that other time they played Bayern...

Chelsea 2-1 Tottenham: The one Jose Mourinho returned to Stamford Bridge (again)

Master & Apprentice

A certain vociferous section at Stamford Bridge once again embarrassed the sensible majority. Jose Mourinho has moved on, you need to as well. If Chelsea aren't going to keep him employed - he's going to manage another club. And while it would have been nice of him to see out his days on the continent, he hasn't. Abusing the most successful manager in club's history isn't a good look. And if you really want to get under his skin, the best way would actually be playground rules - ignore him. No man loves attention more. He gives no ***** how he gets it.

Chelsea 1-0 Newcastle: The one where Marcos Alonso trolled Newcastle

'You're just a sad Mackem bastard'

Sunderland legend Marcos Alonso the difference in Chelsea’s win against Newcastle on Saturday. Satisfying on so many levels. Five wins from five across all competitions and fourth in the Premier League on goal difference — just two points off of champions Manchester City. Too soon to get excited about where the team could finish this season?

There were huge questions marks looming over the squad ahead of Saturday’s clash. The most recent international break saw FOUR Chelsea stars aggravate pre-existing injuries or come off with new ones. The most worrying was N’Golo Kante who has not been able to regain any sort of fitness this season - thanks in part to Didier Deschamps.

Tottenham vs Chelsea: The one that saw the suit return

Hero

Without half the squad available due to injury, suspension and dodgy text messages — the last team Chelsea needed to face this week was the one with ‘the most points over the last two season’. Other trophyless titles are available. See also best offence and / or best defence in the country.

There were some glimmers of hope that were carefully placed in the papers and on your social media timelines. Mostly in the form of a tiny little Belgian magician who just happens to love a goal against Tottenham. Eden Hazard returned to full training for the first time this week and there was a chance that he could make the bench. He didn’t.

However, one of Chelsea’s other walking wounded not only got into the match day squad, but only found himself in the starting XI. Tiemoue Bakayoko would likely not have been risked if it had not been for Cesc Fabregas’ love of sarcasm. He looks like he still needs time to settle and sort out his knee. But there’s a lot of physical potential there to fill the Nemanja Matic sized hole.

Leicester vs Chelsea: The One Chelsea Scored Goals Without Costa

The moment Morgan gave up at life

This weekend ended up as an unexpected rollercoaster - starting with the social media meltdown that was Chinatown. As the team jetted off to Leicester, it became apparent that not everyone had travelled with the team. Diego Costa had been left at home. *gasp*

Unsurprisingly the story has trundled on and on. And then on some more. Obviously when the top goalscorer for any team doesn’t travel with the squad it has to be a story - but there seems to be some confusion as to what happened. Here’s what we can likely take from it all:

The Offer

China have made inquiries about the availability of Diego Costa. They’ve also made inquiries into half the top players in Europe. Especially if those players are involved with Kia Joorabchian or Jorge Mendes, Costa falling into the latters greedy grip. My only real disappointment here as that they have not yet made an offer for me. 

Chelsea vs Everton: The One That Remembered

Costa: caged

After some of the scenes last season, I had braced myself for a season of transition. Some dodgy results to come Chelsea’s way and hopefully a handful of players fighting for a position under the new regime. Nothing that has happened in the last 18 months prepared me for Saturday’s scintillating performance.

Difficult to imagine that before the weekend, Everton boasted the second best defence in the Premier League — conceding just 8 goals in their opening 8 fixtures. They left London lucky not to have conceded that many in the afternoon. If not more. But just how did we get there?