Leicester vs Chelsea: The One Chelsea Scored Goals Without Costa

The moment Morgan gave up at life

This weekend ended up as an unexpected rollercoaster - starting with the social media meltdown that was Chinatown. As the team jetted off to Leicester, it became apparent that not everyone had travelled with the team. Diego Costa had been left at home. *gasp*

Unsurprisingly the story has trundled on and on. And then on some more. Obviously when the top goalscorer for any team doesn’t travel with the squad it has to be a story - but there seems to be some confusion as to what happened. Here’s what we can likely take from it all:

The Offer

China have made inquiries about the availability of Diego Costa. They’ve also made inquiries into half the top players in Europe. Especially if those players are involved with Kia Joorabchian or Jorge Mendes, Costa falling into the latters greedy grip. My only real disappointment here as that they have not yet made an offer for me. 

“Loyalty”

Diego Costa has never properly settled in England. We don’t need to take it personally. Half of you would prefer the lifestyle in Madrid to London - the sun, the sangria, the food. While much has been made of his switching allegiances from Brazil to Spain the year Brazil actually hosted the World Cup as a sign that Costa gives zero f*cks - I’d see it as he likes winning stuff and thought Spain the more viable option. Costa will move on, but its more likely to be Spain that lures him back. Damn that delicious sangria.

Competitiveness

The money is all well and good - but I suspect that Jorge Mendes is more the driving force in that. At risk of undermining a dreadful league, things aren’t exactly competitive in China yet. Maybe they’ll get there. But certainly not in Diego’s lifetime. Maybe he will end up there for the £600K a week - who wouldn’t want that sort of raise? But he might be the most competitive person on earth. His head might explode from boredom on and off the pitch.

The Fight

While not ever privy to the goings on - this is probably not the first row between a manager and a player ever. Going out on a limb here - but I suspect between the testosterone, alpha males and competitive athletes mooching around the training ground its probably a fairly regular occurrence. The most casual observer this season will see the impressive relationship Antonio Conte has developed with Diego Costa. They likely see a little of themselves in one another. Basically they’re in love. They’ll forget about the row long before anyone else is prepared to let it go. The bigger concern here would be the back room member of staff who saw fit to leak their disagreement.

When things are ’technically’ true

Much was made on Tuesday that Diego Costa had ‘returned to first team training after a week’. Will give this a pass on the technical truth of it. Costa had not trained with his teammates since the previous Tuesday. Whether removed so he could have a long hard think about how much he loved Peking Duck or genuinely strained his back no matter. He did not train with the team the following few days. However, the team left for Leicester on Friday night and did not return to Cobham until Tuesday.  Costa was at Cobham training while the team were away, preparing for their return. Had they not been given Sunday and Monday off, Costa would have ‘returned to first team training days later’. Costa was purposefully separated for a few days - the week was beyond his control — but does make a better story.

The Game

Believe it or not - football managed to go on even with Diego Costa on his lonesome at Cobham. Unless your name rhymes with Bichy Matshuayi — then no football for you. Which means he went to all that trouble of grassing up Costa for nothing — he still wasn’t going to be trusted with a league start. Even if he did go and do a goal against Peterborough.

Eden Hazard was re-instated as a ‘false nine’. And was once again glorious to watch when he has been freed of any real positional duties and can roam as he sees fit. The only thing missing from his game was a goal. But that would just be greedy.

While questions were being asked of Chelsea - where could the goals possibly come from without Diego Costa - who honestly would have answered Marcos Alonso? According to Paddy Power they had one punter actually back an Alonso brace. How? Why? Does this man have wizarding powers? Is he Dumbledore?

The year of Gary rumbles on

As it stands, Alonso was unlucky to not walk away with a hat-trick. Had it happened the world might have actually exploded so it was best for all involved that he kept it to two. My only disappointment in his goal-scoring feats this time was that he didn’t fall straight onto his arse in celebration like his Everton goal.

But he wasn’t the only real Spaniard filling in for our faux one. Pedro also got in on the goalscoring action. I can’t decide if its more surprising that he found the back of the net away from Stamford Bridge or that it was from a header. I think we can all safely agree here that man-mountain Wes Morgan should be very, very embarrassed. 

Gary Cahill also briefly thought he was Spanish and went for goal himself in arguably the most audacious attempt of the day - and I mean across the entire league. Gaza Cazza felt inspired by Andy Carroll’s bicycle kick earlier that day. And if Andy Carroll could do it, surely the sometimes England captain could do it. Sort of. He hit it well - but you know, no goal.

Random stat - that brings Chelsea’s league goals scored by Spanish players (Sprazilians included) to 23, more than any team in La Liga this season. Barcelona who.

To celebrate getting back to winning ways, Antonio Conte treated himself to a little taste of a journalist’s cake. Proving that there are a select few who can have their someone else’s cake and eat it too.

jb xx