Chelsea 3-1 Leeds: The one that saw the return of actual fans

Unbeaten in the air

It's been eight long months but Saturday night finally saw the return of fans to Stamford Bridge. It may have only been two thousand and the ticket prices were grossly inflated - do better Chelsea - but it was magic to see supporters back in the stands. It was a step in the right direction.

Chelsea 0-0 Sevilla: The one Frank Lampard had his first goalless draw

Having played out their last Champions League match in August, the return didn't have quite pomp it usually has when it returns to our lives. Knowing there aren't brilliant away days in our near future certainly doesn't help matters either. But to think 2012 runners-up Bayern were crowned champions just a few weeks ago and here we are at the start of a new campaign. Relentless and strange.

For the first time in his time as Chelsea boss, Frank Lampard saw no goals. That's an extraordinary run of games to go to reach this stage. Although for the sake of sainity and entertainment, let's hope it's not end game. While a Chelsea clean sheet is akin to spotting a unicorn these days, it's really not worth it if the attacking side is going to be sacrificed. Balance is everything.

Chelsea 3-3 Southampton: The one that went from Oktoberfest to quite a mess

Dominated possession. Struck early. Had the game under control. Individual costly errors. Points dropped. Sound familiar? It should. Not because it happened against a stubborn Southampton side, but because it just keeps happening again and again. In five of the last 10 games that Chelsea either drew or lost, they scored first. Failure to kill these sorts of games off will certainly keep them out of the title race, if not the top four if individual errors aren't quickly phased out.

Frank Lampard is still a very young manager in terms of experience. He has just two full seasons managing a club, and only one at Premier League level. There's going to be a learning curve. And with the pulling power he has with talent and the enthusiasm that he boosts both players and fans with, it's inconceivable that he won't be a success. But, it will take time. Patience is a virtue, unless you're a reactionary knob on Twitter.

Chelsea 4-0 Crystal Palace: The one Tammy Abraham was not allowed to take a penalty

October 3rd. This was the weekend marked for fans to return to football grounds up and down the country. While it would have been strange with the social distancing protocols in place, it still would have been brilliant to see familiar faces in the stands once again. Hopefully we won't have to wait much longer because, as ever, football without fans is nothing.

Frank Lampard rang in the changes against high flying Eagles on Saturday lunch time. Mason Mount was taken out of the spotlight, no doubt to the excitement of social media trolls. Callum Hudson-Odoi handed a chance to impress while heavily linked to a Bayern move once again. And Christian Pulisic finally returned to the squad. But would just make a cameo on the day. Captain America will be eased back in to not damage those precious ligaments.

Brighton 1-3 Chelsea: The one with a lot of new faces

There's always something terribly exciting about the first game of a new season. It's not just a clean slate, an opportunity to put the sins of the previous season behind us. It's a moment of hope and re-connection. Most seasons there is a  brilliant first day of school vibe in the stands. Supporters who spend the season together shoulder to shoulder, sharing the highs and lows of every one of those 90 minutes get to see one another again. Often spending a summer apart there's a chance to catch up on one another's lives before quickly decompressing the transfers and expectations for the season ahead.

The start of this season was never going to be like any other. Fans are still relegated to watching behind a screen and will have to wait to see the familiar faces and the sounds that make the match going experience what it really is. Like much of the last six months, we will persevere and make the most of it - but football won't ever be quite the same until fans can watch together.

Chelsea 0-2 Man United: The one where VAR lost the plot

VAR: Not a red...

Manchester United managed their first league double over Chelsea since 1988. And the first time they've managed it without conceding since 1965. None of those formidable Sir Alex Ferguson sides managed it. But here we are.

It was another frustrating night out at Stamford Bridge. And not the ideal preparation for a now very much in-form Bayern Munich side. Olivier Giroud once again overlooked for a starting place while Kepa still bizarrely remains on the sidelines.

Chelsea vs Manchester United: The One with a Last Minute Equaliser (again)

Queing for Mata hugs - who could blame them?

It’s possible that Chelsea’s beloved Guus Hiddink could be using the team to bolster his CV after his failed stints as the Netherlands and Turkey’s head coach. He’s once again swanned in and taken a losing side to an unbeaten side. Opting for DM squared week in and week out, Hiddink is setting up the team to not lose. And while it’s 'worked' insofar as he can say Chelsea remain unbeaten under him, they haven’t really progressed, have they?

When Hiddink took over from Steve Holland JoMo 2.0, Chelsea sat 15th in the Premier League. Overseeing an unbeaten run of SEVEN matches, Hiddink’s side have reached the lofty heights of … wait for it …. wait ….. 13th. Seven matches without a loss and Chelsea have moved up 2 places on the league table. While the teams just ahead of the Blues have done their part to help the cause — Crystal Palace winning themselves 1 whole point this calendar year - Chelsea still have not had a look in at the top 10.

Stoke vs Chelsea: The One That Let Chelsea Concentrate on the League

Definitely not worthy of a card

Chelsea’s result at Stoke last night wasn't brilliant. Which pleased the beIN Sport commentators to no end as they reminded everyone every 45 seconds that it could be Chelsea's seventh loss of the season. And while it is technically a loss on penalties, it's a draw at full time and I'll take that. The technicality, however, could have dominated headlines for the rest of the week. However, here were are today - WEDNESDAY - and it's not quite the catastrophic story that it could have been. Thank you Aresenal for banding with Chelsea in a show of solidarity. You took that embarassing result bullet like an absolute champ. As a result the papers’ lasers that have been pointed towards a certain Portuguese manager were set to stun rather than kill. I doff my cap Arsenal.

West Ham v Chelsea: The One Where Everyone Was Booked

Mugged right off by Bubbles

When your day begins with a giant teddy bear snubbing your handshake, you know that day is not going to be the one. Not that brilliant days have been coming thick and fast for Jose Mourinho as of late, but this proved to be an overstuffed omen. Reports that Arsene Wenger actually donned the bear suit before heading off to the Emirates for the late game remain unsubstantiated.

That pesky little bastard, hope, reared his head in the buildup to Saturday. Chelsea have an outstanding record against West Ham and until Saturday, the Hammers home form had left little to be desired. Mourinho played his strongest XI in Chelsea's mid-week Champions League match and they looked much better than they had done in some time. So he only went and picked the same XI again. Something tells me he may not do that again. At the end of the day, it’s results that matter - but with the extraordinary circumstances of the day, this particular loss felt a lot worse than how the team performed.

Chelsea vs Everton: The One Where One Paper Thought Ivanovic Became a Vampire

Ivanovic is a man who just needs a cuddle

I don't want to ruin anything Daily Mail, but it looks like it's been left to me to tell you -- vampires aren't a real thing. I know, it's hard to grasp. With the questionable popularity of things like Twilight -- or for those of a certain generation Interview with a Vampire. But they aren't real. And when a player bites another player, those tendencies and cravings for human flesh are not transferred. It is a Luis Suárez specific condition I'm afraid.

This may have come as a shock, so I'll understand if you need to take a minute here DM...

Chelsea vs Newcastle: The One Where Time Was Wasted

So many happy faces

Despite the recent emergence of Newcastle as Chelsea’s ‘bogey’ team, the home side looked like they should have romped to an easy victory -- on paper. But it never really does work out that way, does it?! Promises of random squad rotation and dodgy keepers abounded. But somehow Newcastle's lengthy list of injries was all but forgotten with Tim Krul recovring in time to make his first appearance since November, along with Jamie Carragher's first choice manager -- Fabricio Coloccini.

Luckily for Chelsea, John Carver was still in charge of the North East side so to speak. The tactics he chose to impart were a) let Rémy Cabella do whatever he wants because he basically can. And b) time waste at each and every given opportunity - from minute 1 -- even if you’re chasing the game. The time wasting went from frustrating to baffling as it was the only real mark that Newcastle left on the game (outside of Cabella’s brilliant performance).