Chelsea vs PSG: We've Done It Before

CL match winner Demba Ba. Let that sink in.

With some stumbles in recent weeks, notably to Villa and Palace, it was difficult to tell which Chelsea side would turn up at Stamford Bridge last night. Yes there was the emphatic win over Stoke, but Peter Crouch isn't exactly Edinson Cavani.

Two years ago Chelsea found themselves on the wrong end of a 3-1 away and a victory over Stoke before not only going on to beat Napoli but to only go on and win the whole bloody thing. Would luck favour them again or was it all used up against Barcelona and Munich?

Chelsea's Deal with the Devil for Juan Mata

Loved by fans

Chelsea player of the year 2011/12. Chelsea player of the year 2012/13. FA Cup winner. Champions League winner. Thursday Night Cup winner. World Cup winner. Euro 2012 winner.

There is no question that in August of 2011, Chelsea inherited an absolutely exceptional talent in Juan Mata. And by inherited spent maybe the best £24M they've ever spent. And I consider myself lucky for having had the privilege of watching him in person every week. Not in an every breath you take, every move you make sort of way -- I mean at the games!

City v Chelsea: When Aguero Met Luiz' Buttock

Oh hi David Luiz' bum

With replay after replay, Chelsea somehow found themselves back and Wembley in the FA Cup. Could the magic of the Cup and new Wembley be enough to trump Rafa? Er, no. No it could not. No magic or luck is powerful enough to battle yet another dodgy lineup. The interim one was the first of many a manager to drop both Frank Lampard and John Terry from a semi-final or final since 2006. And we all know how well that worked out for him.

If anyone has any idea what the tactics were to have Chelsea's diminutive midfield pitted against the juggernaut that is Yaya Toure without any girth themselves, I'd love to hear it. Mystifying choice beyond the fact that Lampard played on Thursday. Either way you cut it, you need both an experienced man and sizeable character if you're going to stop Toure.

Chelsea v Sunderland: When Football Goes Pinball

"Maybe this jumper was a mistake"

As expected, this was never going to be a very attractive game. And Paolo Di Canio ensured that with that dodgy vest he opted to sport for his Sunderland debut. Knowing that all eyes would be on this game, that vest can be considered no less than an act of aggression by the Italian.

Of course no one was more pleased at Di Canio's appointment ahead of this fixture than the Interim One. Benitez assumed that having an admitted fascist at Stamford Bridge Sunday would somehow take the target off his back and give those Eastern European bloggers someone else to 'slander'. Obviously deluded sentiment, but in his enthusiasm, he forgot to separate Mata, Hazard, and Oscar. Not getting too carried away of course he did sit Lampard and ensured Terry could remain close to Di Canio. But regrettably, I do have to give him credit for the trio behind Demba Ba. I will not be giving credit for the lad behind me who tried to rhyme Di Canio with Nazio.*

Is the Writing on the Wall Yet for Benitez? And does it say F*ck Off?

Terry: did not care to warm up and watch
from the bench.

It would have been a fitting end to his tenure at Chelsea, however it seems that Benitez has still managed to not be handed his P45 after what can only be described as an affair as limp* on the pitch as Raheem Sterling's wrist. *Other adjectives for the European Champions performance could include but are not limited to: turgid, abysmal, flat ... poo.


Since his opening match against City where both clubs drew to a 0-0 draw attempting to bore the 40,000 at Stamford Bridge into a comatose state, one would think that Benitez in all his tactical prowess would have bothered learning a thing or two about, at minimum, his opposition. Fielding an extremely defensive lineup against a team missing their best defender? Brilliant. It's almost like it was a lineup from a man who would make pointless substitutions in the 80th minute.

Even Frank Lampard, who's not put a step wrong since his campaign to embarrass the club into a (deserved) contract extension began missed his penalty. It was just not going to go Chelsea's way on Sunday, but they could have at least acted like they cared, if (and definitely) not for the 'manager', but for the fans, for each other, for the pay cheques they are only too happy to collect. The fight is gone on and off the pitch at the moment. Not to take anything away from City, but that was a display that anyone would probably like to extract from their memory. I may or may not have opted to drink until I could not feel feelings.

Capital One Cup's First Leg Semi A Bit Embarrassing

"Think. Think. Think. Ok Frank, I think I will put you
on for another CM, non."

About time to take up the mantra of everyone else who exits the competition and say the newly branded Capital One Cup doesn’t matter? Swarth ourselves in that Luke Skywalker in a ton-ton? Feels right, but smells just as gash. There is no glory in being eliminated from any competition, no matter how ‘mickey mouse’ the trophy is.

On a technicality, neither Villa or Chelsea are out of this semi-final. But it never really felt like either were really in it. With Villa facing Bradford City in Tuesday’s match, I opted to just keep on living my life rather than watch - which I’ve clearly now regretted. For no greater moment than Michael Owen letting twitter know that Bradford were “on fire”. That was more awkward than anyone still referring to him as a footballer.

Swansea have showed everyone, that despite the departure of Being Brendan, they are still a formidable addition to the Premier League, maybe even moreso with Michael Laudrup in charge, and Michu leading the line. So despite the 3-1 predictions that were being bandied about (moreso from the previous night’s result than anything else) it was going to be a tough game.

Third Round of the FA Cup ... Before all the Replays Arsenal and United

When Frank went up to lift the FA Cup...
Sign him up!!

Magic of the cup... cupset ... er, insert generic footballing cliche here. Thought I’d get them all out of the way before I bang on about some of the high and lowlights from the latest edition of Budweiser’s Third Round of the FA Cup. Other poor American lagers are available. The highs, the lows, the hands .... We had it all.

Southampton v Chelsea

Chelsea scored 5 goals, 2 from the new boy in town. Sound familiar? It’s all so 2010. Demba Ba has taken his role as Sturridge’s replacement very seriously and began his Chelsea career in the exact same manner. Chelsea supporters of course will be hoping that he plays a bit better with others and learns the fine art of passing as well as poaching.