Third Round of the FA Cup ... Before all the Replays Arsenal and United

When Frank went up to lift the FA Cup...
Sign him up!!

Magic of the cup... cupset ... er, insert generic footballing cliche here. Thought I’d get them all out of the way before I bang on about some of the high and lowlights from the latest edition of Budweiser’s Third Round of the FA Cup. Other poor American lagers are available. The highs, the lows, the hands .... We had it all.

Southampton v Chelsea

Chelsea scored 5 goals, 2 from the new boy in town. Sound familiar? It’s all so 2010. Demba Ba has taken his role as Sturridge’s replacement very seriously and began his Chelsea career in the exact same manner. Chelsea supporters of course will be hoping that he plays a bit better with others and learns the fine art of passing as well as poaching.

Of course before the five goals and smoke bomb fun, Chelsea started as poorly as ever and conceded the first goal. I, of course, can now copy and paste this from any of the previous matches that the interim manager has ‘masterminded’ a win.

But the most important thing to take away from the day, outside of Southampton fans apparently being terrified of loud noises (pray for them during thunderstorms) was the record setting performance of Frank Lampard. For neutrals who were appalled that Lampard “stole” Demba Ba’s glory by taking the penalty, do me a favour ... With that penalty Frank has 25 goals in the FA Cup, equalling Bobby Tambling’s record and equalled Kerry Dixon’s club record of 193 goals - from the midfield. 

Roman, I know you’re a big fan of Stoppage Time and clearly value the opinions you read here so I’ll just put this out here... why not sign him up? Genuinely, what does the club have to lose besides their talisman? We know he can’t play 90 minutes week in and week out. He knows he can’t play 90 minutes week in and week out. But we both know he has a lot to offer over the next couple seasons for your transitionary years. And while we’re at it, Cole needs a contract too.

Mansfield v Liverpool

Danny Sturridge Loves the FA Cup and has scored quite a few of his goals in the competition. Not surprising that he managed a goal for Liverpool here. Fantastic. And although its your signature move the failure to pass to any teammate at any given time the pop and lock goal celebration. Not to spoil the party, but was that celebration really the best choice against a team in the conference now that you’re at the biggest club in the universe?

Pandering and the Best Fans in the World* Mansfield, who not on the anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster, and a club that had nothing to do with it in the first place decided to garner themselves a little extra press by keeping 96 empty seats for each of the victims and place the name of each on each seat. Although the press certainly enjoyed the unnecessary gesture, how did Liverpool’s travelling support show their appreciation? By serenading them of course .... with “your support is f*cking sh*t”. Now that’s classy.

Suarez getting handsy

Suarez and Jon Champion bringing the LOLz Luis Suarez is just a magnet for controversy and everything ever written about him, including this, is no more than a witch hunt. It has nothing to do with the fact that he not only handballed what proved to be the winner, but kissed his palm before snogging his wrists to celebrate the moment. Pointing that moment out is not addressing a fact, but merely an attack on his pristine character. Those watching the game on ESPN were treated to a moment of accurate and interesting commentary when Jon Champion pointed out “That, I’m afraid, is the work of a cheat.”

*Liverpool. Other best fans in the world are available and have made claims to said title.

United v United

Manchester United travelled to Upton Park to welcome Joe Cole back to the land of the living ... or at least back to West Ham. Bolstered by the occassion or just the ground, only time will tell, but Joe Cole managed to have a brilliant game beyond just not getting injured. Which is what would arguably count as a brilliant game for him at any point over the last four years.

Despite the effort put forth by the Hammers, uncertain victory was predictably snatched from them in Fergie time. By Van Persie. How will West Ham’s away support be rewarded for following the tiresome script? By paying more than double what their United counterparts did. Manchester United feel that a third round FA Cup REPLAY on a Wednesday night is worth £45 for a ticket. Definitely have their finger on the pulse and that. West Ham had only charged United £20 for their match and no travel costs were even incurred.

Cardiff v Macclesfield

Otherwise known as Championship leaders Cardiff versus non-league Macclesfield. Two simple points ... 

1. At least Cardiff can now concentrate on the league. I realise I was meant to get all my cliches out of the way at the beginning, but there you go. 

1. I predict a Ballon D’Or upset next year - Matt Barnes-Homer to steal the trophy, the pocket dotted jacket, and mmmmm....doughnuts from Messi next season.

Tottenham v Coventry

This isn’t the final. It’s no longer 1987. And shirts don’t help you win games. In fact, wearing anything resembling the 1980s should be reserved for fancy dress ... and never in a football ground. But hey, at least you kept a clean sheet in the second half.

jb x