Chelsea v West Brom: The One With The Good, The Bad & The Ugly Subs

Costa wants Filipe Luis' headband back

'I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring'

Chelsea are nothing if not consistent this season, at least in terms of results. They have won just a single Premier League match each month since the start of the season — and don’t look like they’re about to buck that trend any time soon

Unfortunately, with Crystal Palace being January’s victim supporters have a long old month ahead of them. The teasing glimpses of hope against West Brom last night was almost cruel. But in fairness, we really should all know better by now. With West Brom’s last win at the Bridge coming around the time Monty Python started filming the Life of Brian - there was *some* promise for those little scamps from west London.

West Brom vs Chelsea: The One with Chelsea's First Win

Mou Loves Pu - The feelings are real

Apologies for the delay. My internet this week has been just about as patchy as Chelsea’s defence. A delight if your job is, you know, on the internet. Anyways, if we can all remember back that far, there was an actual game played over the weekend. And you know what? It wasn’t horrendous. Which, let’e be honest, came as some surprise.

Not only has Yokohama Chelsea not exactly lived up to it’s Korean electronic counterpart, but the Hawthorns hasn’t exactly been a happy hunting ground. Before last weekend, Chelsea had lost on 3 of their last 4 trips there. I’d hazard a guess they don’t have a worse (recent) record anywhere else. However last season’s jaunt to the midlands can be forgiven seeing as Chelsea had a) already won the league so were effectively on summer holidays and b) the sheer comedy value of Cesc Fàbregas.

West Brom vs Chelsea: The Little Horse Has a Little Wobble

Torres: In defence of Gary

Dropped points away to West Brom, and the Chelsea manager hasn't been sacked. Roman Abramovich has gone soft. Or he hasn't found out yet. Either way without a confusing analogy about horses or eggs to divert attention from the performance on the pitch, it's difficult to not feel a little cheated.

So the black kit returns to Chelsea, and Chelsea return to London with a single point. Is it possible that a black kit is just too sleek for Chelsea and they can't handle the swagger of it? Admittedly I'm a fan of turning up to a ground looking like a complete bad-ass.* And while the team were certainly dressed the part, they didn't do much worthy of the kit furthering the jinx that Chelsea seem to have in black.

Chelsea vs West Brom: The Apprentice Becomes the Master (Almost)

Language!!

Although the only two losses to West Brom have resulted in a change of manager, Jose could feel fairly confident that his job would be safe no matter the outcome – at least with regards to this fixture. Taking charge of his 100^th Premier League game, it was fitting that he was facing his former assistant. Rather than a rivalry, there was a ridiculous, beautiful love-in. Unconfirmed that Clarke and Mourinho were holding hands while walking out of the tunnel together.

This Weekend in the Premier League ... Chelsea manage a win! City and Liverpool Do Not

Cech feels oddly protective of his
ball(s) around Cole 

As it's already Tuesday, there should really be some thought provoking analysis from the weekend in this space. And if that's what you're expecting, you may just want to stop now. Feel free to read any future pieces here though, don't let the haphazard nature of this one put you off. (Although the pictures clearly make your venture here completely worth it - words are overrated) My approach to this week's writing is similar to that of Chelsea's interim manager - cliched, formulaic and only successful by some whiff of luck.

If you were lucky enough to merely catch Match of the Day or -just- the scoreline from Chelsea's match with Wigan it was flattering to say the least. 4-1 was a bit harsh on a Wigan side that were organised and looked like they would draw level at any point. Chelsea's first half was what we've all come to expect at this point - although with excellent contributions from Azpilicueta (no need for the "Dave" bollocks here) and even one Fernando Torres. He may be the favourite whipping boy, but he looked lively and if it weren't for Al Habsi being on top of matters, would have scored. This all does of course mean, Benitez has blagged himself at least another week of like for like substitutions. #Fahct

Chelsea Back to Winning Ways - in the League!

Transformers: Robots in Disguise

Goodbye weekends, hello football. The thief of any semblance of spare time or money has come back and robbed me. And by robbed me, given me some purpose as I leave my pub stool and lager for, well, a seat inside the ground and lager.* And it certainly didn’t fail to disappoint. Unless of course you are fans of QPR, Norwich, or Liverpool. Those three matches saw thirteen, THIRTEEN! goals from Swansea, Fulham, and West Brom. 

As shocking as that is, it gets even more dramatic. Steve Clarke somehow made an actual striker out of aimlessly large Romelu Lukaku. Not only did he score, but he caused trouble - and not just from standing around and being in the way. Too early to consider him for a position on my fantasy team? Or am I really trying to get you to put him in your fantasy league so I’ll win. Or am I writing this at a pub right now, and have lost all sense of what I’m actually saying? That’s SAF levels of mind games right there.

And in news, that's not really news at all from the Liverpool match. Joe Cole featured for 10 minutes before his hamstring gave up on him. Joe, go back to France. Your hamstring can thank me later.

Of course they weren’t the only ones in action, as friendly neighbours Tottenham and Arsenal were both in action. Not with each other... but you knew that already. AVB has started his campaign by sanctioning one of the few top players that he has which of course resulted him starting life in charge of Sp*rs with a 2-1 defeat at Newcastle. However, to no stranger to impressing supporters of the club he’s in charge of, AVB is weighing up Meireles and Chamakh! No really. It’s a subtle way of winning the Chelsea faithful back, showing them he really does have a sense of humour.