West Ham vs Chelsea: The one that had a hot water bottle (and not much else)

Saturday’s early kick-off had the potential to ruin a lot of weekends. At least for those are Chelsea-inclined. And it certainly felt disastrous at the time, however, with as results trickled in over the next 36 hours it wasn’t SO bad. It wasn’t great, but it could have been so much worse. Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester United all dropped points keeping Chelsea safely tucked up in a Champions League place — losses to West Ham and Crystal Palace be damned.

More concerning than the actual result was the realisation that teams of a certain calibre know that they can ‘get at’ Chelsea. David Moyes’ West Ham played Champions-elect Manchester City last week. To face that free-scoring force, Moyes fielded a teenage defender and didn’t even bother with a striker. While his side are relatively injury plagued at the moment, it still highlights that they were prepared to take that loss on the chin. 

Chelsea vs Manchester City: Torres Enjoying a Hart Attack

Behold: Match Winner

You were either getting that or 'Joe Hart is no longer Head and Shoulders above the rest' as a title. And despite the absolute shocker Hart had with Nastastic - Torres is the man who deserves the full plaudits and attention for Sunday's match. If you were worried about this being some sort of pseudo love letter to the freckled Spaniard rather than the sensible* match reports you're used to you may be right.

This Weekend in the Premier League ... Chelsea manage a win! City and Liverpool Do Not

Cech feels oddly protective of his
ball(s) around Cole 

As it's already Tuesday, there should really be some thought provoking analysis from the weekend in this space. And if that's what you're expecting, you may just want to stop now. Feel free to read any future pieces here though, don't let the haphazard nature of this one put you off. (Although the pictures clearly make your venture here completely worth it - words are overrated) My approach to this week's writing is similar to that of Chelsea's interim manager - cliched, formulaic and only successful by some whiff of luck.

If you were lucky enough to merely catch Match of the Day or -just- the scoreline from Chelsea's match with Wigan it was flattering to say the least. 4-1 was a bit harsh on a Wigan side that were organised and looked like they would draw level at any point. Chelsea's first half was what we've all come to expect at this point - although with excellent contributions from Azpilicueta (no need for the "Dave" bollocks here) and even one Fernando Torres. He may be the favourite whipping boy, but he looked lively and if it weren't for Al Habsi being on top of matters, would have scored. This all does of course mean, Benitez has blagged himself at least another week of like for like substitutions. #Fahct

The Morning After The Night Before

Balotelli's strenuous training regime was really
England's downfall.

Despite there being that terrifying moment of ‘logic’ that the expectations of a nation were so low that they had some how torn the space time continuum and actually turned into expectation again - we all know that at the end of the day, this was never going to be ‘the’ year for England. Comparing that rag-tag bunch of misfits to that of another team that happened to win the Champions League this year is too easy - and far too off the mark to be a viable comparison. There have been a number of questions about Chelsea’s season this past year - the answer was never to be found in Jordan Henderson.

Surely the ‘expectations were so low that England can succeed logic’ was the most ridiculous thing said about the England team? Right? RIGHT? No. Enter Mark Lawrenson. How this man gets paid to speak about anything, let alone football is beyond me. But telling a nation, unironically, that their best defender was a man who scored for Sweden after keeping everyone onside was really my Lawro-light of the tournament so far.

Yet, despite myself, I went into last night confident that England could and would in fact go out against Germany. How confident was I? Well, I was brimming with such confidence that I chose to be the other white meat in an Italian sandwich. It makes me slightly wistful for the first 15 minutes of last night’s match, when I smugly thought this may have been one of my best ideas to date. But as the clock ticked on I was reminded that I was still watching the same England that I always have done. Even one without promise, still came with promise.