Stoke vs Chelsea: The One Conte did on a cold, windy afternoon in Stoke

Loving Life

Over the course of ninety minutes on Saturday afternoon, Mark Hughes undid much of the good work he's done at Stoke. While they've been longstanding and reputed bullies over the years, Hughes has attempted to bring a new style of play to the cold, wet pitch in the Bet365iseum. He has introduced unexpected players like Bojan and Xherdan Shaqiri to the squad in an effort to make Stoke's brand of football a little more palatable and a little less pugnacious.

Arsenal vs Chelsea: The One That Arsenal Scored Against Chelsea

Gary Cahill A man in desperate need of a spa day

I think it’s safe to say that Saturday did not go to plan. Unless the plan was to show complete and utter derision to the very notion of organisation. If that were the case then I think Chelsea did an admirable job in those opening 45 minutes.

Branislav Ivanovic was quoted on the club’s site after the game saying that the players didn’t believe in what they were doing at the start of the match. What does that even mean?! That despite an actual decent run of results under a seasoned and decorated manage, on this particular occasion you didn’t quite buy into what he was selling?

Even if Antonio Conte had a terrible plan in place to face Arsenal - it would have been miles better than literally anything that happened in front of our eyeballs for 40 minutes. It got to the point that Chelsea looked so bewildered that Petr Cech briefly considered letting in a pity goal or two. 

Chelsea v Swansea: The One Where Diego Costa Got a Haircut

Who is this?

Before I waffle on about the happenings on the pitch this weekend, I have to take a moment and say that more than the actual result, the knee-jerk reactions at the pub on the FIRST DAY of the season was more than a little shocking. Especially from those that fall into the ‘should know better’ category. Serious moaning about how Chelsea haven’t played well in years, been papering over the cracks, and how the manager should be dismissed in favour of someone who has fresher ideas about tactics. Peak short-termism.

To those fans: Chelsea tried those managers - you hated them too. For the first half of last season, before the suspensions, injuries and tired legs kicked in - Chelsea played some of the best football they had done in years. Formidable, attacking and fun to watch. Actual journalists were impressed. And the most important point is -- it was the first match of the season, get a grip.

Asmir Begovic Won't Settle for Second Best

Diego, meet Asmir

It’s easy to be cynical about transfers with the bloated figures that surround them. Most players earn more in a week than I’ll see in a lifetime. The bastards. So when a first-choice goalkeeper moves to a team with an established keeper in place, it’s natural to assume that it’s simply a money move. That the player wants nothing more than to update his social medial channels from the warm embrace of the bench.

This certainly seemed like the case for Asmir Begovic who left his role as first choice goalkeeper at Stoke to, by and large, Thibaut Courtois’ understudy. But is he really a player looking for an easy ride and a better view of the game than any one of us have.* He might just have ambitions that go beyond keeping Cuadrado Salah Falcao (other players may be available) company on the bench.

Chelsea vs Liverpool: The One Where Nil-Nils Are Fun

How Diego Costa celebrates a goal

Familiarity breeds contempt. A sentiment that never seems to ring truer than when Liverpool face Chelsea again and again and again. With the first leg remaining fairly tempered it was bound to bubble over last night — and definitely did. A lot.

After a fairly turgid display from both sides in the bigger and better cup FA Cup this weekend, it was good to see there was some fighting spirit in the players. Quite literally. But it wasn’t all Diego Costa’s crimes* against nature and the never-ending farewell tour of Saint Steven. Some actual football snuck in here and there.

Most surprisingly was the performance of, unrecognised by his own manager, Simon Mignolet. Some people *cough* presumed if you shot anywhere in and around his area that the goals would come flooding in. They. Did. Not. Mignolet produced some fine saves in the absence of injured Brad Jones and could just see out the season in his smashing purple garb.

Liverpool vs Chelsea: The One Where Chelsea Forgot to Shoot

Luis explaining the importance of a headband for his 'look'

With Liverpool's exit from the Champions League a few seasons ago, supporters across the world were given a reprieve from watching them face Chelsea 60 odd times a season. But the League Cup* semi-final draw had other plans, it was feeling nostalgic for those days. Maybe it was the 'mind games', or the post-match 'banter' or the football that made you question what happened to the 90 minutes of your life that you'd never get back. Thankfully both sides have evolved beyond trying to bore the other into submission. More or less anyways.

After some pretty hapless performances from the home side as of late, it appears they saved all their vim and vigour up for last night's match. They started well and tested the re-instated Thibaut Courtois early and often. The partnership of John Obi Mikel and Nemanja Matic which had been so effective at Stoke looked sluggish or like they'd never met one another (they definitely have). Either way it left John Terry and Co. more exposed than usual. But it wasn't until the second half that there was any real damage to Chelsea's quest for another trip to Wembley.

Chelsea vs Leicester: Drogba Returns

CB, RB, CF - what can't he do?

After a massive win over the team voted most likely to re-visit the Championship next season, Chelsea took on the challenge of yet another promotion side this Saturday. An ideal start for the club on paper, but it was these games that by and large lost Chelsea the league last season. So it was with apprehension (and possibly some alcohol) that I crossed over to the right side of the river and headed to Stamford Bridge.

Courtouis got the call ahead of Cech once again and once again he came up with some decent saves. At his age, there’s mistakes in there to be made, but he’s currently looking like a solid option. He might want to think about accessorising as well as Cech in order to make the transition smoother for some of us (just me).

Saturday’s game wasn’t quite the walk Monday’s was as Leicester have refused in their opening games to be the meek promoted side that we all secretly hoped they’d be. After their performance against Everton, Chelsea were braced for a fight but it didn’t stop the first half from falling a bit flat.

Burnley vs Chelsea: Cesc Bomb

No gloves. No helmet. No party.

What a difference a day makes and that. Yes, I'm starting out the season with a ridiculous cliché / fantastically good song. And by day I really mean the difference in mood from the team sheets being leaked to the final whistle. Of course this all just could me having a massive strop while the rest of you were in various states of inebriation from your trip up on the football special.

I was not happy that Petr Cech was dropped*. There. I've said it. I know that all Chelsea supporters should all just be looking for a bright clean sheet infused future. But after the upheaval of some of the greatest talent we've seen at Chelsea in recent years I'm afraid that my delicate constitution could not handle another. Especially one who arguably has years rather than months ahead of him.