Kepa's current squad position perfectly sums up Chelsea disconnect

And then there was one

There's a party at my house - but only strangers have turned up.

That's currently how it feels to be a Chelsea supporter. Much is made of the £600million spent since the Americans rolled up. Something that should fuel excitement and anticipation. It certainly did during Roman Abramovich's first Football Manager style transfer window. 

Crystal Palace 1-2 Chelsea: The one with two new Chelsea goalscorers

The last time Chelsea had a Premier League match, there was a difference monarch, different prime minister and different man in the dugout. It was difficult to know what to expect from Graham Potter but narrative was always going to be on the cards - having previously managed Crystal Palace's 'fierce rivals', Brighton. 

Chelsea 1-1 Villarreal: The one where Chelsea won the Super Cup (again)

N'Golo Kante adding to his collection

Chelsea made history Wednesday night in Belfast. After a slightly nerve-wracking penalty shootout, their Super Cup win means they are the first and only club to have won all four European trophies twice. Excluding of course, the new weird stepchild UEFA have brought in this season - the Europa Conference League. Not a bad haul for such a 'new club'. 

With an eye on the Premier League's opening weekend, and players still recovering from international tournaments, Thomas Tuchel opted for a few surprise faces in the team to face Europa League winners Villarreal. Marcus Alonso, Callum Hudson-Odoi and Trevoh Chalobah all were named for a chance to impress and win their places for the upcoming season.

Chelsea 2-0 Newcastle: The one that Timo Werner got back among the goals

Timo Werner scores his 10th goal of the season

100 days. 1000 minutes. And Timo Werner is back in the Premier League scoring saddle as it were. The startling numbers do make for a good bit of narrative, but like with most stats don't really give you the whole picture. In just about every match he has featured for Chelsea this season, the young German has proved he is more than just goals on the scoresheet. He is a force and it was great to see him rewarded for his efforts on Monday night. Hopefully now the never-ending questions about the drought can, you know, end. 

Hands up if you were feeling pessimistic and thought you 'knew what was coming'. All the results across the weekend fell very favourably for Chelsea. Newcastle haven't managed a win at Stamford Bridge in nearly nine years. Plus they would be without their loan goal scorer Callum Wilson. This had Monday night upset written all over it topped with a Joelinton masterclass.

Chelsea 2-0 Liverpool: The one cup game Jurgen Klopp attended

You. Shall. Not. Pass.

Frank Lampard edges closer to his first trophy as Chelsea manager with a big win on Tuesday night. After a questionable run of results to start the year, the Blues have seen off Liverpool to book a date at Leicester in the FA Cup quarter-finals.

The boss made six changes to the team that limped to a 2-2 draw on Sunday. Personally I'm not usually a fan of that number of changes for a cup game but after the performance at the weekend it was obvious the team needed a shakeup.

Barcelona 1-2 Chelsea: The one that saw Frank Lampard lift his first trophy

The big one... all hail the Rakuten Cup

One month into his new role and Frank Lampard has led Chelsea to the dizzying heights of Rakuten Cup champions. A completely meaningful trophy that shall no doubt be revered for some time to come. Insert terrible overplayed jokes about it being more trophies than Mauricio Pochettino, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, etc and so on. Still no idea why actual trophies are given out in these pre-season friendlies. It’s odd. So nevermind that, Chelsea only went and did a win against fierce rivals Barcelona.