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| Ryan Bertrand loved David Luiz goal a little TOO much. |
With Chelsea out of the FA Cup, it of course allows the club to focus on the league. A little matter that the interim one may have wanted to think about when they faced Southampton and he put out *that* team. With Arsenal dropping a couple of points the night before, it seemed reasonable to expect a very stale and typical draw at Craven Cottage.
For those of you who’ve only heard of this mythical land that is Craven Cottage, protected by a renowned paedophile popstar Nani lookalike statue of the king of pop, sat sleepily by the river - it’s not the gentile place that you may think. As I happily walked through the park in the sunshine, I had no idea what sinister events would await me. And no, it did not involve the Berba - but I can see where you’d all think that. My bag was searched - standard procedure. And a violent missile was found - what could this be? What would I have brought to a game to show that I’m really up to no good? A bottle of perfume. Yes, that’s right. I was trying to make the world smell a better place. Unfortunately I was paired up with a pikey female steward who tried to keep it for herself. I even said I’d rather not attend so I could have it back. (Clearly a bold faced lie) And she made off with it. Knowing it was far too good for her, her boss intervened and laughed at her thinking I was going to attack Benitez with good scents because we all know he needs some.
