Cardiff vs Chelsea: The Little Horse Gets Over the Final Hurdle

Torres + Schürrle counting Salah's offtarget shots

With the little horse completely out of the title race on the final day of the season, discussion in the build-up focused on how many of the players who limped to a 0-0 against Norwich (NORWICH FFS) may have played their last game at Stamford Bridge. Thankfully, the World Cup may reduce the number of tedious rumours that will surround half the team until pens are put to paper.

With the back five arguably creating the majority of highlights this season, Mourinho opted for a complete rejigging … just because he can. Which gave Ashley Cole one more opportunity to remind Mourinho that he’s good enough to attend Christmas parties — wherever they are being held. It also gave the travelling support one more chance to try and reduce him to tears letting him know they want him to stay.

Fernando Torres got the nod ahead of Demba Ba and Samuel 'only scores at Stamford Bridge’ Eto’o. Torres, of course, promptly rewarded Mourinho with that vote of confidence by getting tangled up in some balloons in the opening minutes and then having his brilliant shot denied by Steven Caulker. Only then did the Cardiff grounds crew decide that they needed to dispose of the balloons before the game continued.

Chelsea vs Tottenham: A Masterclass in Tim Sherwood

Samuel Eto'o: consummate performer/occasional goalscorer 

With Tim Sherwood preparing his squad by noting what a poor record they have at Stamford Bridge, what could possibly go wrong? Well, outside of the massive Champions League flag being displayed for those that travelled from the far reaches of North London it started fairly well for Sherwood FC. Vertonghen tormenter Torres had to pull out of the match due to problem in and around his bathing suit parts. And with no Chelsea player managing a goal after scoring a hat-trick this season, Spurs had to be chuffed that OAP Samuel Eto'o would be taking his place.