Chelsea v Liverpool: The One with the Guard of Honour

The desperate face of trying to keep up with Hazard

Although the official post-season tour begins in Thailand at the end of this month - it quite clearly began on Sunday afternoon. It’s difficult to fault all those tired legs for failing to keep their motivation up after winning but not yet receiving the trophy against Palace last weekend. But it doesn’t make for great viewing - for all you fans of ‘boring, boring Chelsea’ - now is your time to shine.

Of course, not having anything to play for does lend itself to a few relaxing afternoons out and the opportunity to watch some players that may not have got the chance otherwise. Ruben Loftus-Cheek being the most obvious example. He was given a brilliant reception by the home support AND the media who have loved his pass completion (100%). Loftus-Cheek’s performance was just what the media and Football Manager fan boys wanted. It’s all about possession for those crazy kids at the moment!

Together Forever and Never to Part

Why yes, I do accept this ring Cup.

Dear Champions League,

After our time together in Barcelona, I wasn’t really sure how you were going to be able to match that, let alone top that balmy Sangria filled night. It was pretty special, and if I’m being honest, you’ve let me down many times in the past. This was really our last chance and you went all out.

Not to be cynical, but the complete lack of expectation certainly did you some favours. And you certainly ensured my skepticism with bans to both captain and players player of the season. Sure, you thought I’d overlook that by removing Meireles and whatever is growing on his head but it doesn’t quite shift the balance. 

Our day together could not have been better. The ridiculously oversized drinks in the beer kellers and of course the strudel outdid any sniff of sangria or paella. Although, I’m not sure you have the calves for lederhosen. I regret pointing that out to you in the English garden. I know you were trying to pull off the ‘when in Rome’ theme of the weekend, but just because of my lederhosen critique / nudist part of the park - so unnecessary to get your kit off there. And for the last time, yes it was a little breezy in the immediate area you were and clearly no where else.