The FA and the H-word

Secrets from SoHo Square

I trust, football aside that you all enjoyed a rather pious holiday with your family, and by pious, I mean, drank as much as you could humanly consume in light of the extended bank holiday weekend.

The highs and lows of Easter weekend:

Highs:

• Chelsea legitimately beating Wigan with no offside goals at all*
• Chocolate.
• Mario Balotelli.
• Ivanovic doing a Joey Barton impression circa 2010-11.
• Lampard becoming the first midfielder to reach 150 goals.
• Liverpool’s home form. *this of course may be moved to a weekend low if you are in fact a Liverpool supporter reading this*
• Sp*rs losing to Norwich. Fun for the whole family. *not to be moved to a weekend low under any circumstances.*
• John Terry playing with broken ribs.

Lows:

• Ashley Young’s audition for <insert ‘hilarious’ diving partner’s name here>
• Standard OT red card+sending off for a dive from an offside position.
• FA’s punishment scheme: racism < a couple of red cards.
• Hangover.
• Ivanovic facing a three-match ban.
• The emails I’m about to receive about Lampard’s deflected goals (don’t forget to mention that he’s fat too).
• FA’s rejection of Derry’s red card appeal. Will now face an extra match ban for questioning a decision made at Old Trafford. 
• No one thinking they’d do Terry a solid and consider stopping Dempsey. Good one.

And as we’re all about a good list today....

There were a number of decisions required by the FA this weekend. As tricky as this normally is for them, the amount of actual information provided to them proved too much. They have resorted to the Magic Eight Ball (other balls of prediction are available) for all decision making from this point forward. In that, some decision are correct, some are wrong and some they need to ‘concentrate and ask again.’ You decide what the Magic Eight Ball got right:

• Ivanovic charged with violent conduct for a naughty punch on Maloney.
• Shaun Derry’s ban upheld for ‘knocking over Young with his musk’ via @waatpies
• Balotelli not facing an extra six matches for showing Song his new boots.
• Young. Plays for United. Absolutely no decision.

On to next weekend and now the notorious scheduling of the FA Cup semi-final. After seeing what Chelsea and Tottenham have been producing on the pitch these past few weeks its pretty safe to assume that football will more than likely -not- be the winner. After Monday’s matches against Fulham and Norwich respectively, I’m pretty sure that they are doing what they can to ensure Newcastle finishes fourth. Newcastle! Fourth! With a mere five matches to go, it’s impossible to maintain the patronizing tone of them giving it a good go and waiting for it all to go Campo-shaped. They are looking the most likely to make it happen, and supporters in London will have to hope that someone there gives it a good go.

Further to *that* date and the scheduling of the FA Cup semi-finals, I’m pretty sure that performances against City and Sp*rs should have been -some- indication that Chelsea need all the help they could get ahead of a little matter of the Champions League. But that would make sense, something the FA is very resistant to. It does of course make perfect sense to send 60 000 Chelsea and Sp*rs supporters to Wembley giving them a hefty 7 or so hours of drinking before kick-off. In no way could this turn out badly. 

***

Hypocrisy (def): wishing someone to die and / or laughing at their mother being dead when you incorrectly perceive someone to have disrespected the deaths of others.

The standard overreaction of Liverpool an unnamed club’s supporters to an Arsenal supporter’s comments was shocking even by their standards. ‘Comedian’ Alan Davies apparently has risked his own life by suggesting that their should be a discussion available for Liverpool to play on the 15^th. As an Arsenal supporter, he definitely is not holding any pro-Chelsea bias, but raised some valid points, which should have generated a reasonable discussion. Sure, he could have worded things better, but I that goes with just about anything he says. Whether you agree or disagree that the dates could be reconsidered, the number of death threats he has received since that point has been appalling. I mean, if he deserves threats, it’s for calling himself a comedian.

Good luck to everyone heading to Wembley this weekend.

In my completely biased unbiased opinion, I hope Chelsea the best team wins.

jb xx

*the truth of that may have been stretched mildly for feel good purposes.