Hull vs Chelsea: Tigers Tamed

"You've Changed ... "

After seeing Chelsea play Hull on the opening day of the season, Hull looked sure to be heading back to the Championship sooner than later. Cut to 5 months later and they've joined the mid-table likes of Aston Villa and Manchester United with an impressively solid look about that at home. Saturday's lunchtime kick off was not going to be like the fun and games of the opening day.

But sod all that. What kind of pre-match buildup is this? Does it matter how well Hull are doing this season when one of their midfielders -- wait for it -- got a haircut. Yes. That's right. Although it's something us mere mortals are forced to do on a much more frequent basis, all the talk was of Tom Huddlestone's 'Huddlehawk'.* The decision to donate the proceeds (money raised not just the remaining hair) to a worthy charity is a fantastic idea. However, and I could be wrong here, but it might have been a little more meaningful with a little less PR and a little more cash had he just donated a week's wages. But where's the fun in that then? On to some actual talk of football ...


If the last 10 months has taught Mark Clattenburg anything, it's to change his  game plan for refereeing Chelsea games. Rather than getting as chatty as he has done with the players, which let's be honest hasn't been brilliant for him, Clattenburg opted to just tackle the players instead. I realise that Hazard is the most fouled player in the league at the moment, but there was no need for a referee to get in on that action. A statement is expected but yet to be made from Pochettino on Hazard's good looks and Clattenburg's jealousy.

Almost African player of the year, and goal scoring hero, John Obi Mikel started from the bench because he missed training to watch Yaya Touré collect his award. It may have not been the only reason for his first half exclusion as how much defensive solidity does a team really need against Hull? A Hull that opted to play 5 men at the back. So David Luiz returned to the defensive midfield role to make 40 yard runs with a bit of a head start. Although some of us (me) still want him as a central defender, he put in another fantastic performance as a DM getting involved in just about anything he could lay a boot or errant elbow to.

Although not overly stretched, Petr Cech put in another solid performance for his 150th clean sheet in the Premier League, as you do. No word on whether he will be wearing a special gold coloured cap from now on, but here's hoping! Allan McGregor stole some of Big Pete's thunder as he impressed at keeping both Oscar and David Luiz off of the scoresheet. Talent and a little luck can go a long way. But Hazard was too much for McGregor or any of the 9 defenders marking him to handle. And with Mourinho valuing him at £40x2 or x3 .. his value may have gone up again. Just in case PSG does come up with a cheeky bid. (No £1 increments in future bids will be considered)

Of course Eden Hazard wasn't alone on that goal -- with 9 men at the back it just looked like he was. Hazard's goal was the product of defensive midfield ingenue Luiz and Ashley 'rage at early throw ins' Cole. The city of "culture" knew it was only going to go downhill from here.

Clattenburg kept up his fine work in the second half as he decided he didn't like the cut of Gary Cahill's gib. Thought he'd give him a yellow for shits and giggles a handball. Of course Cahill is too nice to properly protest and explain the difference between his shoulder and his actual arm and opted for some polite pointing. It's a shame, Clattenburg has really changed since refereeing at St. Mary's …

But never mind that, you all know what's coming. A ridiculously over the top assessment of Fernando Torres' fine effort in front of goal! With Steve Bruce opting for nine five at the back, Torres' physicality is what was needed to break Hull down. There's no time for subtle nuances here. City of culture or not, a good bit of muscle from the Spaniard is just what I Chelsea needed. That's now 2 goals and 2 fingers up at 2013. Hello new year.

Of course it was all fun and games, until the camera drifted over to the bench to see a lonely little face. And by lonely I mean keeping Schürrle entertained. Juan Mata has surely paid his dues for whatever he may have done - got on with FSW, being the board's pet, bringing joy to each and every one of us with his love of London and his little beard. It's great that Chelsea are winning, but wouldn't the wins be a little more emphatic should we replace the speed and questionable passing of Willian with the creativity of the little Juan?

Maybe he'll get his chance against United … **

jb x

*I take no credit for that horror show of a name




** He won't, but let me have the next few days to dream