Tottenham 1-1 Chelsea: The one Eric Dier needed a poo

Never has the feeling of peaked too soon felt more apt than it did on Tuesday night. Everything seemed to fall right. Tottenham were to have an important Europa League clash just two days after this and Jose Mourinho openly admitted it was his priority. While you can write off his words as 'mind games' when the lineups dropped - he backed himself. Spurs started without a recognised striker.

Inside twenty minutes Timo Werner solidified is growing cult status amongst the Chelsea faithful to open the scoring in a well-worked goal. With the way he's performed since arriving at Stamford Bridge it feels suprising that this was his first goal for the club. If only the final whistle could have just been blown then. Spoiler... it wasn't.

Full disclosure -- I love petty touchline antics. Frank Lampard telling Liverpool's bench to f*** off was a highlight of last season. It adds to the theatre of the game itself and I am here for it. But one has to pick their moments. Frank Lampard should know better than anyone that winding up Jose Mourinho early enough for him to effect change is only going to backfire.

As the master and apprentice got into a slap and tickle fight on the touchline I was only plagued with worry. It was before the break. If Tottenham's Amazon documentary - other Spurs DVDs are available - taught us anything, it's that Jose Mourinho is mildly obsessed with getting one over on Chelsea. He had somewhat conceded this match... until that moment. 

Lampard wound Mourinho before the breaking handing him a full 15 minutes to re-prioritise this competition and take Chelsea out. While it didn't go completely to plan, Spurs definitely had a lot more focus playing with a lot more purpose throughout the second half. Like so many times before, Chelsea did not take their chances and kill the game off early and were punished it for it. They afforded Tottenham too much time and space, finding themselves overrun in the midfield. And that was before that Mourinho went for the jugular putting injury fears aside and dispatched Harry Kane.

Just 7 minutes before Chelsea could have booked their place in the next round Erik Lamela found the inevitable equaliser to send this game to penalties. But no one will remember Argentina's blonde ambition tour for scoring. This game will be remembered for one thing, and one thing only. Eric Dier needing a poo.

With 15 minutes left Eric Dier went sprinting down the tunnel. Potentially his trip could have gone unnoticed - had it not been for Jose Mourinho chasing after him, taking man management to whole new levels. Tottenham were a goal and a man down and the Special One was taking no chances. With the swiftness of Dier's return I'm left with a lot of uncomfortable questions about what actually happened. And you just know he didn't sing happy birthday while washing those hands. Cut to post-match scenes of those same hands on Mason Mount's little distraught face...

The penalty shoot-out is what it is. It's unfortunate that Timo Werner was struggling with cramp severe enough that he couldn't take one. He was RB Leipzig's designated penalty taker so isn't one to shy away from the responsibility. It's unfortnate that it was Edouard Mendy's debut - with the other two goalkeepers known for their penalty stopping ability. And it's unfortunate that Twitter is full of a bunch of muppets threatening Mason Mount for stepping up. If you can't see what he brings to the team, maybe football isn't for you.

jb x

RESULT: Tottenham 1-1 Chelsea (5-4 PENS)

GOALS: Werner 19, Lamela 83

CHELSEA XI: Mendy, Azpilicueta, Tomori, Zouma, Chilwell (Emerson 66), Jorginho, Kovacic (Kante 70), Hudson-Odoi, Mount, Werner, Giroud (Abraham 76)

STAR MAN: Kurt Zouma