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| ...as thoughts of Unicorns and rainbows dance in his head... |
After years of listening to people speak utter bollocks about football, it’s hard to believe I’m still so often surprised at what comes out of people’s mouths. I am admittedly in absolute awe at the streams of defense of one Luis Suarez. It literally boggles the mind what has been used by both club and supporters to blindly support the actions of a player. I’m all for unity, loyalty and that malarky, but it’s shocking what they think people will buy into.
Terms of Endearment. The obvious and most audacious defence to come out of Race Wars, Merseyside Edition was using *that* word as a warm and fuzzy comment to his opponent. I actually have no words for how ridiculous this was. I’m pretty sure no one is looking for a kiss and a cuddle in the midst of battle. And if there’s anything hip hop has taught us, it’s that *those* words are exclusive for millionaires pretending to ‘keep it real’ ....and that Jay-Z has 99 problems....
Unknowing Immigrant. I’ll let David Luiz’ prolific use of the word geezer stand here, but after spending 11 months in England and a further 5 years in Europe, Suarez cannot actually claim ignorance to language or cultural references.
Diversion. Classic defensive technique. But I’m afraid this one can only be used with Chelsea supporters. ‘He did it too‘ doesn’t really change anything does it? With Terry apologising and admitting his part, it’s different to the ‘I didn’t do it, I meant it affectionately, I’m sorry because I got banned‘ reply from Suarez.
Character Assassination. Another classic technique - to blame the victim. Evra is not the most likable of figures, just ask Domenech (or anyone with eyes and / or ears), but that doesn’t warrant Suarez blameless. And in no way is it hypocritical of Liverpool supporters to cite Evra’s past history of accusations, but openly say Suarez should not be judged on his previous long term ban / actual biting of people. And with those teeth, he’s lucky not to have been charged with assault with a deadly weapon.
Grandfather. The equivalent to a rapist’s excuse that he couldn’t possibly be a rapist as his mother was a woman.
T-Shirt Time. A fine moment in this drama. T-shirts in support of a man accused of racism worn by the entire team and management. This gesture may have been a little more poignant if the club was a little more on the diversified side of things.
Lost in Translation. Suarez wasn’t inconsistent, his translator was. I’m sure the translator was some mysterious ‘plant’ from Evra’s side only put in place to make Liverpool look bad.
Conspiracy Theory. ‘King’ Kenny and the things we don’t know and that he can’t tell us. Oh, man of mystery he is. So, there are things that could prove Suarez’ innocence, but no one wanted to share that with the panel or the public? Next he’ll try and tell me that Desperate Scousewives is classic and intelligently relevant programming and Alan Shearer is not the most inane and dull man in the world.
Shall We Sing a Song For You. I like to think of this as supporters showing the FA what racism -really- is all about, but I can’t help but love the excuse that these weren’t actual supporters but people planted by the FA to justify the charges of racism. Arguably the best of the bunch.
With so many of these fantastic excuses still knocking about, I’m sure I’ve forgotten more than a few. Feel free to share ones you’ve heard in those fancy comment boxes below. Or, better yet, come up with your very own excuse as to why Suarez shouldn’t have received a ban for a racist comment.
If I had any advice for Suarez, the club and it’s supporters would be just stop. Please. Wrong and strong is fun for a while, but the tedium of this could drive a girl to drink.*
Looking forward to the Downing edition of defence.
Looking forward to the Downing edition of defence.
Peace out negritos
jb xx
*which is something I, personally, do not advocate in any way, shape, or form.**
**in light of the theme of the day, I thought I’d also make audacious, implausible and barely believable statements.
How the club tried to defend Suarez has made him look worse, it was a poor decision to wear t-shirts and show support in that way. Instead a statement of more understand of the situation would have been sufficient.
ReplyDeleteWhat i can say is the word he used is commonly used in his country and south america,and is not seen as a derogatory in the same way as it is here, that being said you can't defend him for saying it over here as he should know better but bringing up his history of ear biting has no relevance in this scenario, and if you are to bring up history of either Suarez or Evra then the Youtube video of Evra saying the N word has a more valid point to show that if one is branded racist then maybe they both should be. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEwLkCRziD8
Im not a liverpool fan btw, i support Chelsea. The ban itself is harsh in my opinion, they made it up out of know where because there hasn't been a previous case like this, a 2-3 game ban with a statement from suarez apologising and understanding his wrongs and vowing not to make the same mistake would be more beneficial for everyone.
The club and player handled the situation poorly, it is as simple as that, the 8 game ban does not solve or help racism in football, there will always be racism in football if there is racism in society so it's a much bigger problem that the media,FA and just about everyone are afraid to talk about openly to take us forward.
Nice Blog though. Nile.
Hi Nile,
ReplyDeleteI referenced the ear biting in response to the Liverpool supporters who constantly question Evra's character. Neither have any bearing on this particular situation. Evra, no matter how unlikable a figure he is, has every right to be a victim. And the fact that it has taken Suarez -this- long to apologise, and even then it was beyond insincere I think had a bearing on the result. If you look to the Terry case, as Liverpool supporters like to do, he held his hands up immediately - acknowledged that he said it and that it was completely inappropriate. I think Liverpool's handling of this matter and the length of time it went on really warranted the ban. If they'd just admitted the fault immediately, Suarez would probably already be playing.
I just find the constant excuses for him embarrassing for the club and its supporters... and the whole situation tiresome for everyone else.
Glad you enjoyed the blog - most of them aren't quite so 'moany'.
x