Wookie94

50000 decisions: wondering how Arshavin was one of them

In honour of Uncle 'arry, today's blog is named after my little cat and the year she was born. You didn't really think I'd be so crass to include my own birthday, did you? And don't be too disappointed, but I will not be having *that* court artist draw up any pictures of me any time soon. In the midst of all the courtroom fun drama, there was apparently some football that took place as well. Although a quick scan of the dailies made me think otherwise.

NFC v CFC

That's right, this isn't Match of the Day, I'm starting here and you'll have to learn to live with it, or scroll down. Whatever. Anyways, there may have been a reason that Chelsea featured last on the most biased program on television today. I'm not saying it's because there were no goals or actual talking points, or that the most interesting moment to emerge out of this fixture was apparently on the train ride home - but ... the train through Norfolk got a little heated when the some lads decided they wanted to have a bit of a sing song. The singing may or may not have involved 'racist chanting'.

But not to worry, this weekend will bring you Handshakegate: The Return. That's right, we all now have another three days to build up to the excitement about whether one grown man will shake another grown man's hand. Please, contain yourselves. How this moment will not be televised is beyond me. I'll have to break out my Bridge / Terry handshake of two years ago to thoroughly prepare for this momentous occasion.

BWFC v LFC

After King Kenny watched Andy Carroll have such a successful spell in Stoke's defense last week, one may have thought he'd try and get him into his own defence. However, if we've all learned anything in recent weeks is that KK does not learn from his own errors. And that Bellamy is still a tw*t. Ok, that last one extends beyond recent weeks, but I'm sure Reo-Coker would back me up.

AFC v MUFC

Since the return of TH14 TH12, we have seen a tetchy frenchman curse at his own 'supporters' and those same supporters boo their own manager / club / reflections. Pat Rice tried to tell Wenger that they were actually shouting boo-urns, boo-urns, but the ever wiley Wenger knew this wasn't true - he'd heard it 50 000 times before, why should it be different now?

MCFC v THFC

AKA known as SMB v The World. Not that Sp*rs are the world or anything, but you know where I'm going with that. Never one to generate controversy, Mario Balotelli somehow found himself back in the thick of things and now is facing a four match ban. Personally I blame the combination of Balotelli's youth and Parker's barber for the head 'stomp'. Anyone who played Super Mario yesterday on your sweet, sweet NES as a child knows that jumping on mushrooms is pure instinct. Reports out of Manchester today are that Lescott has sent Balotelli a gift basket of mini-muffins to take all the attention of him and his top turnbuckle flying elbow.

SAFC could do us all a favour by bringing another Balotelli into all our lives. Good luck to Enoch, and Tyneside.

jb xx