Chelsea vs Schalke: The One Where Schalke Scored

Good to be home 

With Schalke’s shockingly mediocre start to their season, it was inevitable they were going to see some sort of result at Stamford Bridge on Wednesday. But everyone in the group seeing one mighty goal to kick off their CL campaign, it’s not really the worst start for Chelsea. The loss to Basel last season didn’t really seem to have much impact. Nevertheless there were some lessons to be had from Wednesday night’s draw …

Thirty-six year old striker not quite up to speed shocker ! 

We all knew that things weren’t going to be exactly the same the second time around with Didier Drogba. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t even matter. He’s there to motivate those around him and provide a little relief to Costa’s hamstring and Remy’s heart. And Wednesday he did just that. He picked out some fantastic passes to Hazard when he knew he didn’t have the pace to get through the defence. He also had a couple of incredible shots - unlucky not to score. A few more games and we’ll see even more glimpses of the Drogba we all knew and loved* before he embarked on his world tour.

There’s an expiration date on man jewellery

I was under the impression that it dated back to sometime in the 1980s, but hey ho. Cesc Fàbregas was allowed to brandish some sort of bracelet or something similarly manly until the hour mark. And then like Cinderalla he was whisked off by a giant pumpkin. And by giant pumpkin I mean he was unceremoniously sent to remove the offensive decoration. As long as those referees were on top of things and all

Speaking of *those* referees …

There’s definitely nothing suspect in deciding just hours before kick-off that the referees that were meant to be in charge were informed they didn’t have the correct visas to work and a whole new set brought in. It’s not like the replacement linesmen were completely inept in just about every call they were tasked with. Excellent work UEFA.

Schalke’s false promises 

Until Wednesday, Schalke’s season has not made for great viewing - failed to win any of their matches and unceremoniously dumped out of cup competition. Sounded like the team who’d lost 6-0 over two legs to Chelsea last season. This was the team I was promised, but it certainly wasn’t the team that showed up on Wednesday. I thought I'd signed up for a fourth clean sheet against Schalke but that doesn't seem to be on the cards in any match this season.

Julian Draxler

Last season Arsenal, and a number of other clubs seemed to be clambering over one another to sign this ‘wonderkid’. But he remained largely an absent figure across both games against Chelsea last season making me wonder how easy it must be to get a job as a scout … On to this week where not only did Draxler dictate the play and make Ramires look like he was standing still, but there was *that* pirouette in the centre circle. Making Le Professeur look like he just might have been onto something there.

Flood Lights

Stamford Bridge has had new flood lights installed. Here’s to hoping they do help the players because they’ve basically blinded everyone meant to be watching them at a night game. Each ticket should come with a pair of sunnies like when you go to the cinema for a 3D movie. But I am looking forward to working on my tan throughout the season!

Who let these people in?!

With cup games not being included in the season ticket forcing holders to spend even more or allowing them to opt out and save some beer money. Which means a lot of new people get the chance to come in and mess things up for everyone else enjoy the game themselves. The outrage that people were standing and shouting at football was amusing at first, but the novelty wore off quickly. If you want to sit and watch the game - you should probably get yourself a subscription to Sky. If you insist on coming, don’t sit behind the goals - sit in the family section, sit in the west stand, stay on your sofa and stop telling people to sit down

jb x

*this obviously rules out Arsenal supporters - and just about everyone but Chelsea but bare with