Chelsea vs PSG: The One Where Forwards Were Merely Acccessories

Silly hair is not enough to intimidate Diego Costa

This is going to be a full on out and out whinge. I may end up regretting some of the things that will be said later. I accept that. But if you don't fancy a proper moan about a depressing Champions League exit - then there are a multitude of over-analysing happy-clappy tactics nonsense pieces floating about. They -will- contain references as to who should actually have played and where because obviously they all know better than the man with a cupboard full of trophies and fabulous overcoats.

Let's get "positives" that we really do not believe going forward:

1) Now Chelsea can focus all their love and attention on the league without pesky European competitions getting in the way.

2) Chelsea have already won a Champions League in Germany. To do it again? B-O-R-I-N-G … it's much better to win it in a different country every time.

3) Some supporters may currently be moving house and wouldn't have been able to make the semi-final. So it was kind of Chelsea to ensure the finances of their supporters were more of a priority than trying to win trophies. Chelsea are nothing if not magnanimous

Morning all. Disappointing night last night. The focus now is solely on the @premierleague... #CFC pic.twitter.com/0Gh0A5OmNO

— Chelsea FC (@ChelseaFC) March 12, 2015

Now for the negatives and conspiracies (ooohhhh), which won't be neatly compiled in a list but more a scattergun approach of random thoughts as the tears are blinked away. I mean, something is in my eye …

No actual conspiracies or campaigns. Just some shoddy refereeing on display. Chelsea are certainly no strangers to that in the Champions League *cough* Tom Henning Overbo. But if tonight's referee had got his first 2 big calls right - no red card for Ibrahimovic / penalty for Costa - would the game have turned out differently? Ibrahimovic is an exceptional talent with a shockingly poor record against Mourinho. In 8 games - no goals, no assists and just 4 shots on target. It wouldn't have been the worst thing for Chelsea if he'd stayed on. Chelsea v 10 men usually doesn't end well.

Maybe one of you can help explain this - why was PSG allowed a coach out with the players as they warmed up? And I don't mean before the game. Down the touchline and throughout much of the match. It was good of someone in Gate 15 to ever so politely let said coach know that as professional footballers, they probably can handle a warm up on their own. Plus, much of his time was spent watching Chelsea's players on the pitch and then feeding messages back to the bench. Or has the game at Villa Park this weekend really relaxed the rules about who can be in and around the players.

Thiago Silva's goal and the hijinks that were happening amongst Chelsea's backline. Rather than mark Thiago Silva, John Terry looked to have taken the more unconventional route of marking Gary Cahill. Interesting technique. I'd like to posit that it didn't have the desired effect -- but maybe one of those analysing the minutiae of movement type blogs will have a full explanation.**

Diego Costa. Remember when he used to score Champions League goals? His last one was at Stamford Bridge. But unfortunately that was against Chelsea, not for. He's not a man short on confidence - but for someone who changes his outfit more times during a match than an Oscar host it does seem like he's currently unsettled. Long sleeves, short sleeves, gloves, no gloves. Pick one and stick to it Diego. For all other Diego Costa apparel related concerns - see my Twitter feed.

For all of the other, and I do quote 'sh*thousery' that was going on -- anyone having a moan about that, have a long hard look at yourself you joyless bastards. Challenges flying in, people rolling about like they'd been gunned down, errant elbows, Maxwell nearly choking from screaming at the referee, Cavani and Mourinho having a shouting match, anything David Luiz did. The list goes on and on. Hilarious. And frankly, it was the only fight some of the players on the pitch looked to have. Because it was taken to such an extreme by both sides, it passed the point of being contemptuous behaviour to a comedic parody of itself. Everyone needs a bit of panto in their live now and again -- this was our moment people. Soak. It. In.

At the end of the day -- it was PSG that deserved to go through on the merit of play over the two legs. But it doesn't mean I have to anyone has to like it. A Champions League exit could be the kick up the pants some of the players need at the moment to keep fighting for another trophy this season. Only United can play like absolute plonkers week in and week out and continue getting results - the jammy bastards.

Chins up and all that. Bed and a bottle of red* awaits.

jb x

*not a French selection this evening though, tastes a tad bitter

**UPDATE: one of you lovely lot did know why! For anyone curious -- there's a link below in the comments