Belated End of Season Blogging: Super Injuction Edition

Everyone Knows this is the Blogger Accused of Over-using the internetBut I wasn't supposed to tell you that.

Well Hello There,

It certainly has been a while. I’d like to tell you I was off doing something fabulous while ignoring any and all internet behaviour. But, the truth of the matter is this. A certain Welsh footballer took out a superinjunction on me using any kind of internet. But his drug test missing Oliver Holt hating mate started blabbing to his tweeps about it, so I felt free to re-join the 21^st century while the unnamed Welsh footballer attempts to sue his mate and all the aforementioned ‘Tweeps’.
As for the final game of the season, well, that was certainly a way to go out with a whimper. The travelling support deserved a better show. Its not like they travelled the mighty distance over to Craven Cottage. But they aren’t the only ones who deserved better from the club – our now former manager; the Eyebrow of Doom was unceremoniously released. I’d rant here, but is there any point? That magical eyebrow and his double winning season will move on elsewhere, and more than likely bite us in the Rio Ferdinand arse. In a worst kept secret than the footballer with the super injunction, more than likely Guus will step in with his far less magical eyebrow. With Jol having returned to the league, and McClaren’s return meant to be imminent these pressers are going to be leuk – oh yesssshhh.

And for those of you looking forward to the return of the Dutch legend who realised that sometimes Florent Malouda could be pretty good: you know he won’t stay on. He likes to keep changing clubs like Ryan Giggs likes to sue people on twitter. And although he won’t be here for the longhaul, he could be a stop gap for a special return the season after next. That’s right, I’m starting my own rumours now. This blogging has actually gone to my head. No sources quoted (or given), just mere speculation and bias – it’s almost like I’m a proper journalist. ;)

So for those Chelsea supporters not in the know, and only reveling in our Reserve Premier League glory, it is not the only trophy the club has come away with. And no, I’m not talking about the Fair Play League, as that’s almost as embarrassing as ladies football. Yes people, Chelsea have won the London Legends Cup. For those of you who couldn’t be arsed to make it to Craven Cottage. Tsk tsk. It’s worth the trip for the Michael Jackson statue alone.
There were a number of cameras filming the three matches, and I feel pretty safe in assuming it was to film upcoming documentary: Free Willy: What Happens when Footballers stop Playing. Looking at these guys try and roll themselves onto the pitch made me think that somehow Jamie Oliver sees a future prospect or Gillian McKeith wants to pick through their poop. Chelsea and Westminster Hospital were nice enough to have their entire A+E department on standby with emergency oxygen... With Chelsea the only team maintaining any semblance of fitness amongst the players, it was no surprise that they ended up winning 5-1 and 5-0 respectively. To the Arsenal legends, that green thing on the side of your plate is salad – don’t be scared of it.

Preceding the dominance of Zola, JFH, Flo, Nevin et al, there was some other match in London.... And although I’m still not on speaking terms with Champions League, I suppose it only pertinent to discuss the final in some manner. After hammering beleaguered Rovers with a mighty 1 all draw on a dodgy penalty to triumphantly take that 19^th title, its no surprise that this team felt pretty confident in facing the little men of Barcelona. I mean, they ‘do what they want’, no? After about the 20 minute mark its seems that what United really wanted to do was...well, how do I put this delicately?!? Oh ya....what they really wanted to do was BEND OVER. Repeating their epic performance of the 2009 final, it was no surprise that Barca have again lifted the trophy. They do what they want, they do what they waaaaaant, more interested in shagging and hairplugs, they do want they want.


Sure the goals and such were good (I’m looking at you King of the Soul Patch), but who didn’t love those itty bitty men tossing Pep in the air. Sure, it didn’t seem ‘hilarious’ at first. However, the next day after Swansea embarrassed Reading to gain promotion their much larger and stronger players attempted to mimic this gesture with the Jolly Rodgers. I’m kind of worried that these Swansea players may have suffered some pre-season injury from this.
Hope you’re having a super-injunction free day!

 Looking forward to seeing Swansea, QPR, and Norwich next season.

 jb xx

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 PS: as a bonus....for those of you on twitter, and who know me personally will know the greatest thing to happen to me twitter: Joey Barton has joined twitter. He never fails to disappoint. You are welcome.