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| The Making of the Suavest Technical Area in the League |
I think when most people think of summer they think about the weather, music festivals, maybe ice cream or a few cheeky pints in a beer garden. I think about who the next Chelsea manager will be. You can mark summer with the entrance of a new Chelsea manager like you can marks Spring with Arsenal's undoing. After Roman unceremoniously dumped a likable intelligent Italian who did great things for the club, I was quite concerned at what would come, and then he brought in a vibrant, swarthy Portuguese man off the back of European success and all was forgotten and forgiven. Are these my thoughts from this week or from 7 years ago? Who knows anymore? I may have had too much gin today.*
*And by gin I clearly mean PG tips *cough*
**and by PG tips I mean Vodka...
Anyways, sure, there’s been a bit of a rotating door at the ground in terms of management. A tad frustrating. A tad embarassing. However, it certainly hasn’t stopped the club from winning trophies. Laugh all you want Arsenal, but you know you want some too. There’s been some real lows in Roman’s selections. His one bright spot between our Italians and Portugese men was of course Guus – whom everyone (myself included) expected to be the man in charge by the time we make our way up to Stoke. But was he ever really a great choice? He never sticks around too long, and let’s be honest, wouldn’t you like to see someone surpass the odds and make it like a whole three seasons?!? Guus would have had immediate (and fantastic) impact, but it would be fleeting. He’d need to move on. I’m pretty sure he’s got a suitcase packed at all times and carries his passport with him.
So, in swoops our man from Portugal for his dramatic return – Andre Villas-Boas...AVB...um...Ok..I don’t really have a good name for him yet. The Special 2.0, Mini-Mourinho, Ginger-ish Jose...all poor, and unfair on him. Although, as he has trained under the man I consider in no uncertain terms to basically be god, we could run with Jesus, but obviously pronounced in the cool way. I ramble, I have the whole summer to work on this.
Anyways, there’s not much I can say that hasn’t been all of a sudden added to his wikipedia entry (which had him as our manager 2 days before actually announced). I find it a bit strange that someone who wants to distance himself from comparisons to The Special One has now followed in his footsteps at not one, but two clubs. I mean, if AVB really didn’t want the comparison, he really should have given Hughton the nudge and took over at Birmingham. ;) Although, I find it unlikely that he would have mysteriously found himself in possession of €15M to trigger his buy out clause. Because we all know he a) just happened to have that lying around and b) was so excited to re-join Chelsea that he paid that much for the very privilege of taking charge. *Roman, if you’re reading this – and I know you so often do, I am in no way implying that any money mysteriously fell off the back of any yacht that was possibly docked in Paul do Mar Harbour.
Sure, he may look like a new player than someone who’s now in charge of Ashley’s gun collection. But that’s what makes him great. He’s all young and exciting, but has trained under the best – Jose and Robson. He knows nothing but how to manage a club. He’s created an excitement around the club not seen since the last time he worked for Roman. (see what I did there – no comparison to Jose...oh...) Who doesn’t like that he’s coming in all young, disheveled in his suit, dimpled....
....wait, what was I saying?!?
Sorry about that. I will try to regain some composure and professionalism here.**
I mean, who doesn’t like the idea that he’s fresh and plays attacking football, and is fearless in taking on the curmudgeons in charge of some other clubs not to be named. You know who you are, you all remember the amazing rotary 1980s phone that one of the unmentioned managers was forced to use.
Here’s to this summer where I can sit back and enjoy my cheeky pints on the beer garden knowing that this season will definitely be better than last and hoping that next summer, we just have to worry about the players that need to come in and out of the club.
And to the managers who’s already weighed in on the appointment:
Big Sam: while I did try to use weighed in without irony here, you’ve made that difficult – buffets are not really your best bet. Anyways, the claims that AVB will be terrified to manage in the premier league are just silly. Or is that why you’ve opted out in favour of the Championship? Projection is not really your thing.
Avram Grant: Bless. Yes, AVB does need to win games to be successful. It’s kind of the whole point of sport in general. If you’d practiced that rather than theorized it, it’s quite possible you wouldn’t have relegated two teams in two seasons. Just a thought. But I certainly do appreciate the incite into those renowned team talks you’ve given.
Welcome back to SW6 AVB, enjoy the irony of taking over the Pensioners (and no, I did not mean Frank and Didi you cheeky monkeys).
KTBFFH
jb xx
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**yes, I was unable to type that with a straight face
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