Toffees, Frenchmen, and Xmas oh my

Crack is Whack, Yo!!


Morning Treacles!

 Sorry about the tardiness, but I don’t really think anyone wanted a reminder of our game against the Toffees, or at Marseille for that matter. So, now that you’ve just put it out of your heads, I’m back to remind you. It is nice that the lads have mixed it up a bit for us. I mean, for a while we started poorly but ended with a bang, and now we’re having decent first halves and seriously flapping in the second. So, we can take solace in the fact that we’re not predictable. And with two clear penalty shouts in the first half, it would make anyone feel deflated coming out in the second half. Reminiscent of CL Semis in 2009?

 Seriously though, I think that the draw with Everton was one of the worst mainly because we’d all had our hopes up with the returns of Essien and Captain Fantastic. No criticisms for either of their performances, and in fact, JT was absolutely immense, but we just couldn’t get our act together. I still think that we will be able to turn our form around in the coming games with Frank definitely returning (because I’ll make him). And Josh is starting to get some more attention from the EoD. After his performance this week, he’s surely to get some more appearances. With the exception of a certain Ivorian’s bottom making an appearance, he was again the highlight of the game for me.

 But before we get totally all warm and fuzzy here (I’m of course no longer talking about Kalou’s arse), some things need addressed before you get a bit of a holiday from my ramblings (which will come over the holidays, just far more sporadically). I also apologise in advance for point 2...biggest rant of the year. I’ve had it stored up since the weekend.

1. Ramires. Not that I’m a fan of floating statistics about, and feel that they are often reductive and don’t truly speak to the game, he managed a pass completion rate of about 63% in the first half of the game this week. For someone who was getting to play in his preferred position, a position that requires you to (a) win the ball and (b) distribute it, continues to beg the question of his price tag.

2. A message to some of the football ‘supporters’ from Sunday. I’m not one for calling these guys out. Sure, you can laugh at the bad calls against us, or our questionable form on set pieces. Fine, that’s all part and parcel of watching at a pub with different supporters clubs. However, you sadistic twats, seeing a man bleeding from his eyeball because he’s been kicked in the head AND a someone who has experienced severe head trauma and has to look, let’s be honest, a bit silly every week while he defends our net....you’re going to laugh at that? Laugh and try and tell me he deserved it because Anelka was blocked by Tim Howard at the other end. You really think that someone who is completely uninvolved deserves to have studs rammed through his skull as some kind of karmic retribution?!? I ask you this you silly Mancs, what have we done to deserve the karmic punishment of having to spend our weekends in your presence. I know you are all repelled by yourselves, which is why you don’t go to the United bar, but surely you are truly all deserving of one another and should leave the rest of us out of it.

 For those of you who didn’t get to be down at the pub for the Everton match, consider yourselves lucky. Although, don’t let it stop you from heading down there this Sunday when we take on the Sp*rs. I promise you, I will do what it takes to make sure we get our three points. If that means I have to throw myself under the bus and somehow distract Gareth Bale, I’ll do that for the team. I mean, someone’s going to have to get his head out of the game or he’s going to destroy the not so defensively minded Bosingwa. If Alex were fit, I’d be apt to throw Ivanovic back out to right and leave Bosingwa on the bench this week. But, as it’s not an option, let’s keep our fingers crossed that we can shore up the midfield enough that it won’t even be a question.

  As for me, I’m off to Blighty to of course distract Bale on Sunday and make sure that you know who stops watching the games with my future father in law and starts playing. I will drag him out of the stands myself if need be. Again, it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for all of you. Which means, over the next few weeks, you won’t have to put up with these mini major rants on such a regular basis. I’ll try and harass you as often as I can depending on whether or not the rioting students will allow me to get to any internet cafes. Fingers crossed for the next few results. And have bail money at the ready in case those at WHL don’t approve of my distractatory tactics. ;)

 Miss you already.

 KTBFFH

 jenny xx

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