Everton vs Chelsea: The One When Costa Fell in Love & Terry Was a Striker

Love is all around

After starting Wednesday's game against PSG with Chelsea's strongest (available) XI and it resulting in a loss, Guus Hiddink was going to take no chances on Saturday with his impervious domestic unbeaten run. Hiddink rekindled a partnership more uncomfortable than Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch - yes, Nemanja Matic and John Obi Mikel found themselves together again.

Rather than bang on about how the combination effectively reduces the effectiveness of either yet again I’ll just leave you with the results which Chelsea have incurred when they have started together

 M+M = L D D W* D D D L

That first loss was under Mourinho — and he never paired them again. Coincidence? Chelsea also proceeded to win the next 3 matches after the first and last M&M installation under Mourinho. The lone win, of course, was against Arsenal. Which means Hiddink could have picked his starting XI from a hat while blindfolded and the result would unlikely have changed.

As the match itself unfolded, it looked like it had nil-nil and a replay at Stamford Bridge written all over it. Somewhat cagey, but neither side really threatening goal. Diego Costa had one of the best chances of the game as he opted for an acute angle shot that danced across the goal line while Robles was nowhere to be seen. Alas, it wasn’t to be for the formerly masked marauder. His time to shine came later.

In the post-match haze it seems that Roberto Martinez has worked his Jedi mind tricks once again on those hanging on to his every word. The match has been described as an impressive and resolute performance from the Toffees. But was it? Really?  Despite being there and seeing it with my own eyeballs, I have been reliably informed that Romelu Lukaku scored one of the most extraordinary goals of the season. And while he used his sizeable assets to his advantage, let’s be honest — Chelsea’s defence gave him a lot of help. And by help I mean they basically stood and watched him run and shoot, while Gary Cahill celebrated his efforts with a little pirouette. Lukaku is an offside position a lot, but one should never assume ...

In the span of just 5 minutes, Chelsea’s best chance at silverware this season evaporated in a game that was wholly undeserving of any goals at all. Thankfully the 6000 Chelsea fans who made the arduous journey there and back didn’t make the trip for nothing. And I don't mean the free scarves. They got to witness the exact moment that Gareth Barry and Diego Costa fell in love.

We should all have seen it coming really. Those fervent glances across the pitch. Any excuse for physical contact. The tension was too much, and Diego is not a patient man. Barry played it cool but when Costa went for the lean in - it was on. A nuzzle, a nibble, a cuddle. Not sure it was appropriate viewing before the watershed. Barry probably should have held out for dinner first, but with the clock ticking down, their time together appeared fleeting. Which all begs the question, why does Michael Oliver hate love?

Jealously. It’s the obvious answer. One suspects that no one has leaned in to Oliver so he decided to part the star crossed lovers. Like Juliet who stabbed herself to be reunited with her Romeo, Barry knew what he had to do, and Cesc Fàbregas’ leg was a mere consequence. Barry left Oliver no choice but to send him off as well, following his Diego to the naughty step where they’re likely discussing which one gets to be Leonardo DiCaprio.

Amidst the torrid love affair, John Terry only crept onto the pitch to make his 700th appearance for Chelsea. With 698 coming at CB, one at goalkeeper, Hiddink thought it was time for Terry to shine as a makeshift forward. Because, why not. He managed to sneak the equaliser the last time Chelsea met Everton. And let’s be honest, there’s been worse personnel decisions made this season. ;)

Here’s to playing spoiler to everyone else’s season

jb xx