Spurs vs Chelsea: The One With a Flying Bib

Diego Costa takes warm-ups literally not seriously

During his first stint with the club, Jose Mourinho had a group of players that he branded as ‘untouchable’. Less than a year later he found himself out of work. So JoMo 2.0 has given the 'untouchables' a swerve and  opted for more regular and surprising benchings. The affable little Juan Mata was the first and most prolific to get the 2.0 treatment - on far too regular a basis for my liking, but I digress. His little beardy face popping up over the seats in front of him, wishing he could just go out and play with all his friends. *sigh*

Cut to this season and Mourinho hasn’t just seen fit to kick puppies sideline loveable little characters but to take on some of the bigger personalities. While not an unreasonable decision this week based on form, it was still surprising to see that Diego Costa was fully fit named on the bench and Chelsea would set out to play without a recognised striker. Not unlike much of the season really, but that’s a whole separate matter.
Costa, of course, took his new position with the good grace that one would fully expect of him. So used to starting no matter his form, Chelsea’s Sprazilian was apparently unaware that he should actually take part in the pre-match warm-up with the rest of his teammates. And when he did manage to honour the bench with his presence, while wearing just about every piece of clothing he could find, actual football boots didn’t seem to be part of his bench couture.

His moment in the sun finally came, he was sent to warm-up. With 10 minutes left in the game, our dear Diego suspected he just might not get to come on and may not have taken the matter seriously. He somehow managed to squeeze a bib over his parka  - which clearly had been fitted when carrying his holiday weight - and casually strolled up the touchline. Of course, the stroppy return to his seat was apparently a journalists dream come true as Costa somehow got out of the sausage casing that was his pink bib to casually toss it over his shoulder in a Mourinho like direction. JoMo 2.0 has assured the world that Costa cannot hurt him with a bib, while silently weeping inside.

Obviously without participating in the pre-match warm-up there’s no reason Costa needed or wanted any part of post-match, so he headed straight for the team bus and his overdue lunch. He had obviously worked up quite an appetite over the course of the day so couldn’t wait a second longer for that sarnie. I suspect there was not kisses and cuddles at any point on Sunday.

Between all the spectacular sulking and #bibgate there was an actual match of football. No goals. But it’s all about baby steps people!

Although deemed the weak link in Chelsea’s back line earlier this season (obviously not by me), Branislav Ivanovic had some time off to heal. He was like a wounded animal and has mastered his terrifying Serbian stare to absolute perfection. So much so, Tottenham’s players were terrified to go near him or the formidable Kurt Zouma. They decided they'd rather take their chances as far away from Chelsea’s 18-yard box as possible. They had 9 shots — 7 of them were from outside the box! If they could have stood behind Jan Vertonghen and shot, they would have.

'Don't look up. Don't look up. OMG he's right there'

While troublesome, Harry Kane’s biggest contribution of the day was to get Marco Amelia up out of his seat and think about warming up. Kane’s attempted assassination of Asmir Begovic failed in the end, and the Bosnian made a number of fine and fumbling saves to earn Chelsea’s THIRD consecutive clean sheet! Something which hasn’t happened since my birthday — where are my presents, by the way? Some of you are awfully late.*

While it’s difficult to argue that an attack that technically failed to score was impressive - that’s just what I’m going to do anyways. You’ll get a few people who’ll cite the fact that Chelsea didn’t have a shot on target until the 68th minute. And then no more after that. Fair point. But for a teeny little Belgian who’s often out on the wings, Eden Hazard did a solid job of leading the line. Hazard was motivated and a handful for the giants in front of him. While his header went just over the bar he also managed the best chance of the day from either side. The link up play and fluidity with Oscar, Pedro and Willian worked well. The key here obviously is having just a single name. Given/surnames are overrated. Defenders were never sure who to mark and everyone worked for one another.

Cesc Fàbregas had a bit of a time of it. While his heart was in the right place, his passes uncharacteristically were not. He may have actually taken the worst free-kick in the history of the Premier League.** However, he did redeem himself by inexplicably kicking the ball straight into Willian’s face. Hopefully this is more than a bi-annual tradition -- Fàbregas kicking balls at people’s heads is now kind of his thing. And I’m not sure I can wait until next May when he strikes again. Although Cesc, if you're reading this, maybe not a teammate, ya? As funny as Sunday's was, Brunt's was a much better effort.

jb xx

* I am willing to accept them along with a Christmas present, but it will have to now be slightly better because it's so late.




** Football doesn’t exist before then. So we don’t need to worry about that