Chelsea v Swansea: The One Where Diego Costa Got a Haircut

Who is this?

Before I waffle on about the happenings on the pitch this weekend, I have to take a moment and say that more than the actual result, the knee-jerk reactions at the pub on the FIRST DAY of the season was more than a little shocking. Especially from those that fall into the ‘should know better’ category. Serious moaning about how Chelsea haven’t played well in years, been papering over the cracks, and how the manager should be dismissed in favour of someone who has fresher ideas about tactics. Peak short-termism.

To those fans: Chelsea tried those managers - you hated them too. For the first half of last season, before the suspensions, injuries and tired legs kicked in - Chelsea played some of the best football they had done in years. Formidable, attacking and fun to watch. Actual journalists were impressed. And the most important point is -- it was the first match of the season, get a grip.
That being said, Saturday’s start to Chelsea’s title defence was less than ideal -- at least in terms of the result itself. Swansea are a far better side than some people seem willing to admit. They were well organised, had a lot of pace and were solid at the back. Branislav Ivanovic has come under a lot of criticism for his performance, but there’s a lot of full-backs who would have trouble dealing with the pace of Jefferson Montero.

Chelsea both started with purpose and ended brightly. The middle bit was sloppy as if Chelsea were expecting the side they beat 5-0 in January to turn up. Considering some of the  shocking pre-season performances that were on display, it’s promising that Chelsea have pulled it together now when it matters. They should be in decent shape when they head to Manchester next weekend if they build on the positives.

Of course Thibaut Courtois waited until Petr Cech had been flogged to Arsenal before getting himself sent off. Because what football fans really love on a Saturday afternoon in the blazing sun is irony. Although his departure led to Swansea’s equaliser, it seemed to spark the team into realising that this was not in fact still pre-season and maybe they should get their shit act together. Rather than the goalmouth scrambles that hallmarked the first half, the introduction of the very vocal Asmir Begovic added a modicum of organisation not only to the back four but to the rest of the side. Too little too late, but the Bosnian will be leading from the back next week and I expect him to remain very shouty.

The biggest question of the day was, what happened to Diego Costa's hair? Were the rumours about his hamstrings simply a way of buying enough time to groom the bejesus out of him? Although his hair straightener has emerged as a surprise contender for Chelsea’s player of the season, it seems to have affected his style of play. Attempt to look like Olivier Giroud, play like Olivier Giroud. Chelsea will need their unshaven, disheveled, crazy haired and wrong socked striker back if they are going to push for another title.

And in case you missed any of the other results, here’s what you missed:

Tottenham started their season in the most Spursy way possible, conceding an own goal to a sub-par United side.

Manchester United began their season with their 2009/10 top goalscorer, Own Goal, opening his account.

Tactics Tim *just* managed a win over the newly promoted Bournemouth.

Alan Pardew continued his campaign for the England job with a big win over Norwich

Liverpool lulled Stoke into a coma in the worst match maybe ever before Coutinho reassured fans that this was in fact going to be their year again.

And Secret Agent Petr Cech struck not once but twice allowing West Ham their first win against Arsenal in almost 10 years. Sending the smug fans of Saturday into a meltdown of epic proportions (even by their standards).

jb x