Chelsea vs Stoke: Stoke’s Aversion to Goals at the Bridge Continues

So. Much. Hair.

After losing 3-1 away in a Champions League tie, is to host Stoke in the PL right before the continental types make their way to Stamford Bridge. Of course this time around there wasn’t a flurry of other matches and managerial changes before Stoke at home but the similarities are close enough to give those in and around SW6 enough hope going into Tuesday night’s tie.

Jose Mourinho abandoned the 'no recognised striker up front’ tactic from Chelsea’s midweek match in favour of Fernando Torres — who’s just about big enough to handle any attempts at bullying from Ryan Shawcross.

Mourinho’s message was well received with Chelsea peppering Begovic’s goal, but it was a full half hour before one found it’s way through. If I’m being honest, I’d forgotten Mohamed Salah was even on the pitch until that goal went in. Conversely, Bransilav Ivanovic ensure his presence was so dominant that despite his goal being called offside it was duly celebrated and followed up by Chelsea’s fans questioning whether there was an error on the scoreboard as late as halftime. It was Ivanovic, it hit the net, it surely had to be a goal.

It wasn’t and concern of a 1 goal margin going into the second half started to creep in. With Schürrle giving one of *those* performances, he made way for the effervescent Eden Hazard. As if on cue, Chelsea were awarded a penalty moments after the gifted penalty taker came on the pitch. It seemed fortuitous. However, it wasn’t the tiny Belgian, but Lampard who fancied this one. Unfortunately for Frank, Asmir Begovic had been prepared for this moment and blocked his first attempt. But he wasn’t quite quick enough for a sprightly Lampard who only went and scored it anyways. Penalties are overrated.

With Stoke having failed to score at Stamford Bridge in their 6 previous trips, and Chelsea with a 2 goal cushion, things were starting to look settled. If only the same could have happened at Villa and Selhurst Park. When you’re playing Stoke, it really is all on you to provide the entertainment, and what better way than replacing Frank Lampard with that rapscallion David Luiz. Within moments, Luiz’ bestie, Willian, decided he no longer hated the back of the net and only went and scored.

Bigger than the failed celebration for Ivanovic’s non-goal, bigger than the celebration for Lampard’s 250th for Chelsea was Ashley’s Cole’s beard for Jose’s Mourinho’s final sub - Ashley Cole. You remember him? Best left back in the world and that. Presumably Ashley Cole had decided to grow his beard until Mourinho played him again, and Mourinho couldn’t stand looking at it anymore. So for the final 15 minutes, Ashley Cole added some pace and phenomenal passing to the midfield.


And for those of you who lost count - that left Chelsea playing with a CB as RB, a RB as LB, a LB as LM, a CB as DM, and 2 CBs where they should be. Why do Chelsea have the best defence in the league, because they only bloody well have 6 defenders on the pitch. And that’s not even counting the man mountain that is Nemanja Matic.

Signs of another 4-1 for Tuesday’s home leg?

jb x