Crystal Palace vs Chelsea: Tony Pulis’ Lucky Number 13

"You know what happens when ballboys waste time vs Chelsea"

From the outside, things looked brilliant for Chelsea going into Saturday’s game with Palace. Not only had they just humiliated Arsenal a week before, but Tony Pulis had never managed a win over a Chelsea side - losing on 10 of those occasions. TEN. But for those who know Chelsea a little better than the casual outside, they’ll have had some trepidation. They’ll know Chelsea will make things as hard for themselves as possible - easily beating title contenders and struggling against anyone that looks set for a stint in the Championship.

Saturday’s matches were all about a flyover. No one hired out a plane to fly over Selhurst to celebrate Tony Pulis’ club shop couture, Kayla, the bald eagle, managed to entertain the crowd in the sunshine by flying back and forth between the goals. Far more gracefully than most of the Chelsea squad managed.

The dynamic defensive midfield duo of David Luiz and Nemanja were called upon again, but probably not needed for Tony Pulis’ great big bus. There was never going to be much of an attacking threat coming from Cameron Jerome. Selection of either player in future matches should not be based on anything seen on Saturday. In fact, that same principle should apply to most of the squad.

The first half had the reek of a 0-0 draw written all over the match. Some (possibly just myself) felt confident that Chelsea would continue their season of matches being horrible in one half and fantastic in the other. What some (me) did not know at the time was that the first half was Chelsea’s “good” half. And that within moments of the second half getting underway, the unthinkable would happen — a John Terry own goal. And with that, the league remains but a glimmer.

Once again, Jose Mourinho’s frustration got the better of him — his need to mask the “performances” that the Chelsea faithful had witnessed overrode logic. Mourinho knew that know talk of little horses or melons were going to paper over these cracks, he was going to need to go bigger. He was going to have to dig as deep into his bag of tricks as he legitimately could. He was going to run down the touchline and shout at a time wasting ball boy. In fairness, if anyone should have been shouted at for that it was Julian Speroni who could have popped round the corner, checked on his restaurant, had a snack, come back and then taken the kick and it would have been faster.

But nevermind Speroni’s ‘thoughtful’ clearances, Mourinho had already come onto the pitch and not been booked, so he sprinted towards the ballboy and had a quiet word. Even this didn’t get him sent off, but it did provide enough distraction (and fond memories of the Swansea ballboy) to have the full and stifling weight of the actual game on everyone’s minds.

What Chelsea lacked on Saturday

That all being said, Palace played like that had nothing to lose. They weren't expected to win, but rather than just sit back and wait for the inevitable, they threw everything they had at Chelsea and it worked. Tony Pulis might just go and win manager of the year if he manages to keep the South East London side up.

No early kick-off, no black kit to blame. Just some poor performances and unusual substitutions. Mourinho did what he could to put up the smoke and mirrors but I’m sure I’m not the only one who left Selhurst Park feeling less than glad all over.

jb x