Manchester City vs Chelsea: Only Fools & Horses

Ivanovic's Head & Shoulders Tribute to Hart

After the Dickensian display from last Wednesday, it was with trepidation that just about anyone with even a passing interest in football got excited about the Gary Neville show Monday Night Football. Big matches get so built up that they usually fall flatter than most of my 'jokes' in the office.

Everyone had a good laugh at 100% of people who predicted that Mourinho would park a bigger and better bus that Allardyce could every dream of having when low and behold, he sent Chelsea out to play -- and win. Tactics ahoy. It's quite possible that so much 'tactic-ing*' was used in this match that preparation for last Wednesday were mildly overlooked. If you close your eyes and try really hard, you might be able to forget about what didn't happened against West Ham.

Either way, Mourinho's team were sent out to try and stop a team that have a perfect record and scored 749 goals at home this season and just maybe get one or two themselves. There's no doubt that there was some absolute genius that went into pulling the three points off -- no one can deny that there was a little luck involved. You want to say the injury that's sideline once Chelsea target Agüero. But let's be honest, the -real- luck was the inclusion of 1980s rock star Martín Demichelis in central midfield. It wasn't a pretty sight to behold, and not just that shocking barnet.

Much has been made of re-signing a player for twice what he was sold. No one's laughing now. And if they are, Matic is fully prepared to sprint to their house and smash them. In a saucy little reminder of the deal, Mourinho thought he'd pair Matic with the man he was originally sold for and it was a little slice of midfield magic. The sunshine of Portugal has seen Chelsea's newest Serbian flower bloom into a man so large that Yaya Touré looks like a averaged sized man (and footballer).

This has to make Pellegrini feel good

After a pre-match cuddle with bff / goal-scoring hero Branislav Ivanovic, Nemanja Matic was just about everywhere on the pitch. He may have briefly sported Petr Cech's little hat and put a shift in goal. Having this giant wall prancing about like the little pony he's meant to be proved a distraction to great for Manchester City who forgot about the presence of Eden Hazard. Hazard involved himself in just about every wave of attack on Joe Hart and City's loan defender. How just a single goal ended up dividing the two sides. If it weren't for that damnable crossbar, City could have conceded more at home on Monday than they had for the whole of January.

55 games without failing to score at home were erased in ninety minutes by a centre-back playing at right, another in midfield, and a right-back playing on the left. Not a bad day out for a little horse learning to jump. Of course José Mourinho has not taken all the credit. Apparently Billy McCullough managed to stop massaging footballers thighs for a moment to share some of his terrible jokes to give a rousing half-time talk.

And fairplay for Manuel Pellegrini being the adult this time and managing to shake hands with José Mourinho. After the drama of the last few weeks, no one needed another handshake-gate.
 

jb x

*Patent pending -- my people are in dispute with Allardyce's people. I can say no more.