Chelsea vs Newcastle: The Little Horse "Learning" to Jump (City + Arsenal)

Ivanovic assists Hazard in more way than one

It might come as a surprise to some of you, but I don't José Mourinho actually meant what he said about Chelsea just trying to finish top 4 this season. I know. Minds blown. If you need to take a minute to consider that, I'm happy to wait here for you .... And by wait here I mean top up a G&T.

A surprise 'almost injury' saw Chelsea's captain get to kick up his feet and watch the Eden Hazard show, and saw the reunion of the odd couple - Cahill and Luiz. But with Nemanja Matic picking up the mantle of patrolling in front of the back four, it's possible I could have joined Cahill at the back and Chelsea could still have come away with a clean sheet.

As the game progressed my biggest concern of the afternoon was that there were 42K of us about to watch a sexual assault. And I don't mean some odd euphemism for Chelsea's dominance. I mean Hatem Ben Arfa's every growing in familiarity with one Cesar Azpilicueta. It began to cross at line at a reach around to get more than a handfull of Azpilicueta's right buttock. But minutes later I'm pretty sure Ben Arfa tried to 'throw down' or possibly just run through the back of Azpilicueta. But it's fine, everyone was under the watchful eye of Sir Howard of Webb.

As with City, Chelsea were fortunate that Joe Kinnear's final move before his acclaimed departure was to sell off Yohan Cabaye for peanuts. Arguably one of their best players along with Loic Remy, Chelsea were not facing the side they dropped 3 points to earlier in the season. Newcastle did manage a number of shots on target, but none that could be of any real concern.

But like many of the matches that preceded this one, it was the little Belgian pony that stole the show. He was everywhere on the pitch on Saturday. At one point he dribbled past Steven Taylor and managed to grab me a hot chocolate. He is, in fact, that good. As if his first two goals weren't highlight reel worthy enough, he opted for a no-look penalty which Tim Krul was just never going to block. Lovely gesture from Captain Lampard, who told Hazard to take it and get Chelsea 3 goals. Putting teammates before egos is lovely, not as amusing as when they try to wrestle the ball from one another, but still quite nice.

With City running up a big yellow bus at Carrow Road, and Arsenal leaving their team in London, Mourinho's secret might have snuck out. Chelsea might just be trying to win a little more than their next game and third place this season. Maybe.

jb xx