English Team in Fifth gets a semi... I mean to the semis

Channelling Roberto Mancini if he *really* let himself go.
Jesus was just the right amount of angry last night.

Controversy. Negative comments stemming from ‘jealousy’. Less attractive than one would like to think. That’s right, Chelsea woke up this morning and realised they were Samantha Brick. The horror!  The shame! The extraneous exclamation points!

But what we have all learned from watching Carlos Tevez is, you don’t have to be attractive to play effective football. Chelsea were more stretched than my ex’s waistband over the holidays last night, but did what they had to do. 

Sure, ‘Barcelona won’t be quaking in their boots’*, but if Chelsea had managed to put five or six past ten-man Benfica, would they have been then? No. I’m not even going to allow you to entertain that idea. Barcelona have great players, a great manager, and as 2009 proved, a great referee. But with all the warm and fuzzies down at Cobham now, you never know what this team could pull out. As long as still has a match in them like last night at City against Sp*rs their FA cup tie against Leicester. That’s right, I will take my face Barca like Leicester and run with it.

However, over the next fortnight there’s an FA Cup tie and a few pesky league matches for Chelsea to contend with. The good news for Chelsea is, their next two are against Wigan and Fulham. The bad news is Chelsea’s league form. I’ll put it kindly and say it’s questionable, at best. Their performance at Villa Park was enough that a single goal inspired a mini pitch invasion. Luckily Jacob Mellis distracted Villa’s players the best way he knows how.... Good luck to him when he tries those grenades out on Joseph Barton.

And for those of you worried about John Terry’s trouble breathing... initial reports that it was possibly cracked ribs. But reports today have reliably informed me that he had merely read Samantha Brick’s article and laughed himself to a slight sprain. Sources close to the player reveal that even he “would not tap that.”

I was going to use this space to discuss all the other English teams involved in Europe....

....

Done.

And for those of you still muttering about a tiny Argentinian - abuse the wifi at your office to take a look at this goal:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iJMkFfi4RE

jb xx

*I cannot believe how many times I have read that in the last 24 hours. I don’t think this multiple vision is due to any form of gin.**

**It really isn’t. 

Bonus: Because you know you want to read camp song lyrics..

Barcelona! Such a beautiful horizon
Barcelona! Like a jewel in the sun
Por ti sere gaviota de tu bella mar