Chelsea vs Liverpool: The One That Wasn't So Friendly

Criminals Always Return to the Scene of the Crime

Anyone who managed to get up at 4.30 this morning for Chelsea’s opening match of this meaningless tournament the International Champions Cup should be applauded. Or their sanity should be immediately called into question. I'm leaning towards the latter. Thanks to the magic of the interweb, I managed to watch the match in full when I woke up at a respectable hour. At this moment, I could not tell you why I thought that would be better than just watching the extended highlights.

Supporters making their way to the Rose Bowl must have been chuffed to witness this mid-table Premier League clash. 8th v 10th is quite a coup for the organisers of this prestigious tournament. As for those supporters, kudos to whoever got in a smoke bomb. However, you erased all of your credit the moment you partook in a Mexican wave. 

Lovers of all things encompassing tactical speculation were once again let down when Don Antonio Conte once again persisted with 4 at the back. It’s almost as if he’s using the skill set of the players he actually has rather than forcing any system upon them.

Not a bad day out for that back four / five (if we’re going to be pedantic and include the goalkeeper). They managed to keep a clean sheet despite the odd scare from an ever probing Sadio Mané. And Gary Cahill only went and popped up for the goal. Three of the last five goals Chelsea have scored against Liverpool have come from their defenders.

John Terry, Cesar Azpilicueta and Cahill are likely to part of the plans once actual football commences. As much as I personally like Asmir Begovic, it’s unlikely he’ll keep his place in the team once Thibaut Courtois realises he didn’t really exert himself all that much at Euro 2016. I’d expect him to make an appearance against his old foe - Real Madrid this weekend. While Ola Aina could find himself gifted with a regular role while Ivanovic recovers from his shoulder injury.

While Cahill was the difference, it was all but forgotten. In part because it was 10 minutes into the game, in part because the match means literally eff all. But mostly that goal has been erased from memory because Cesc Fàbregas takes friendlies really seriously.

As head of Fàbregas' unofficial fan club, I will go on record as saying Fàbregas was ‘too hype’ to be back in action. As an avid follower stalker of his snapchat, I can confirm he decided to run his own personal training sessions while he was meant to be on a holiday recovering from the European championship. Am genuinely surprised he didn’t cut it short to join up with the rest of the team as he spent most of his vacation time either at the gym or running drills on an empty pitch.

Fàbregas was thoroughly involved throughout the game, providing the assist for the lone goal. But he wasn't just there to take corners and pass the ball around. He also dropped back into Chelsea’s box to mop up any sloppy defending. He quite literally wanted to be everywhere on the pitch and win the ball whenever and however he could.

Wherein lies the problem. 70 minutes into the game, Fàbregas seemed keener than ever to win that ball back for Chelsea. And while it wasn’t a great challenge on Ragnar Klavan, it certainly wasn’t malicious. I’d chalk it up to an over enthusiastic effort which deserved the card it got. He’ll be gutted to miss out on the opportunity to face Real Madrid this weekend.

If Instagram posts mean anything, and Diego Costa does in fact return to Atletico Madrid this transfer window, Chelsea fans can take some solace that they still have a player ready to take the shithousery mantle at a moment’s notice.

jb xx 

PS Dear Liverpool players, I'd like to stage a follicle intervention. Stop with the top knots. Especially really reedy ones. Your style icon should not ever be Marko Arnautovic. It's a gateway hairstyle to bleach. If any more of you are thinking of abusing hair elastics my eyes in such a manner, just look at the disappointment on James Milner's face.