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| Costa: caged |
Difficult to imagine that before the weekend, Everton boasted the second best defence in the Premier League — conceding just 8 goals in their opening 8 fixtures. They left London lucky not to have conceded that many in the afternoon. If not more. But just how did we get there?
It should be noted that Everton were without their own midfield marauder, Idrissa Gueye, who was on the naughty step this weekend after getting a booking against West Ham last weekend. Between the suspensions and some persistent injuries, RoKo was forced to rejig his own defensive unit and try to cope with Chelsea’s new system all at the same time. Safe to say it did not go to plan.
Less than 10 minutes after the spectacular fireworks display, there were a few more on the pitch as Diego Costa’s ankle got in the way of Seamus Coleman of own goal mockery fame. The Irishman had clearly been carrying that around with him for the 2 years and took the first opportunity he could to try and level the playing field — and Costa. Coleman clearly underestimated the derision that Costa holds for his own attire and personal safety. A little blood on his sock isn’t going to stop him. It’s like poking a bear - you’ve only riled him, Seamus you silly sod.
Ten minutes later, Eden Hazard only went and did a goal. So I don’t get too carried away here, Maarten Stekelenburg *could have* done better here. But didn’t. And let’s be honest, a goal was coming. And it definitely wasn’t the Stekelenburg poorest attempt at containing Chelsea — that came next.
When Marcos Alonso slid a shot right through Stekelenburg’s legs. But being the nice guy that he is, he didn’t want the Dutchman to be too embarrassed so he ran into the corner and promptly fell on his bottom. As good as all the goals were - this easily was my highlight of the game. First Chelsea goal and you go and fall flat on your arse in a failed attempt to celebrate. Brilliant.
A half hour after stalking back onto the pitch after Coleman’s failed assassination, a unmarked Costa volleyed in Chelsea’s third. The only thing missing from this goal was Diego running straight over to Coleman and laughing in his face. It also would have been the most exceptional way for him to pick up his long awaited fifth yellow card of the season. Apparently he’s up for a little sight seeing in the North East in a fortnight.
Shortly after the break Eden Hazard scored a goal that I plan on spending the international break with. His movement in Everton’s box was pure filth. Pedro’s back-heel gets a special mention, but the flick to get the play started shouldn’t even be legal. I may need a moment …
Somehow Chelsea supporters got their act together and sung a song for Antonio Conte. Kept it simple - just his name. But much better than the abomination that started at St. Mary’s. The physio that is not Eva Carnero picked up on it and alerted the Don to the fan’s overtures. He took a moment from shouting at the players to clap each of the stands, warming everyone’s cockles.
By the time Pedro got himself a much deserved goal - Everton fans decide they had enough, exiting en masse. By the time Oscar entered the fray the away end was virtually empty. While it’s unlikely you’ll come back from 5-0 down, to leave with 25 mins to go after travelling that far seems ludicrous. As poor as Everton were Saturday, they’ve been having a solid season under RoKo’s watchful eye, and deserved better.
Special mention should go to David Luiz who was resplendent at the centre of that back three once again. Watching him bound around Stamford Bridge is a joy to behold. The little scamp was unlucky not to score himself on Saturday. He’s getting closer. A thunder bastard is imminent.
While Boro away is next on the cards for Chelsea, I’d like to take a moment to be a stats nerd. Chelsea’s last 3 home games have ended 3-0, 4-0, 5-0. Next home game? Tottenham. I’m just going to leave that there.
Roll on the international break
jb + Hazard’s goal xx
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