Everton vs Chelsea: The One Chelsea Lost (Again)

Steven Naismith's biggest fan

There was a good chance that this opening paragraph would just be an expletive laden rant and certainly could still devolve into that. Apologies in advance. But really, with the turgid performances that have been on display there just aren’t a lot of words in the English language better suited to describe what we’re all witnessing at the moment.
Jose Mourinho has been quick to remind us all that just three months ago, Chelsea were lifting the Premier League trophy and we were all showered with a glorious glittering display of tinsel and fireworks. But at the heart of it, doesn’t that make the current performances all the more concerning? Just months ago these same players only went and won the league at an absolute canter and now have conceded nearly as many goals as they had in the whole of the 2004/05 season!

Of course with it being early days there is still loads of time for Sergio Agüero to get injured in any number of ways to make up the difference. But it’s become increasingly difficult to see just how they'll get out of the hole they've dug. I vote for some magic dust. Should that fail then first and foremost, whatever is going on at the back needs to settle the fuck down. Cech’s departure?* Cahill’s ever-breaking nose? Terry’s body betraying him? Full-backs going on walkabout? QUESTIONS!! PUNCTUATION! ARGH!

Steven Naismith was always going to get a goal as soon as he came on - but there is no way that any defence should be letting him score a hat-trick. And before this weekend no one ever had — not even in the Scottish Premiership. Much was made of his scoring efforts as a sub, great tactics from Roberto Martinez etc and so on. And while a manager beating the reigning champions 3-1 is worthy of some praise, let’s all take a moment to remember this was the tactical mind that saw fit not to start his goal scoring hero, and his hand was forced with the early injury to Muhamed Besic.

There’s been a lot of finger pointing this season. I have one of my own to point, but that’s a completely different finger. Anyways, for all the myriad of reasons and musings about what could be going wrong the one thing overlooked is the only major change that’s come since the parade - the sponsor. Oh how I long for the heady days of Korean electronics. #YokohamaOut

Although my face for most of this weekend would have made grumpy cat look like he was having the time of his life - it wasn’t all doom and gloom. There was a large Serbian glimmer of hope in our midst. Nemanja Matic, like everyone else, has not got off to the best of starts this season, but Saturday looked like a return to form for the big man in the middle. Not only did he get in a number of tackles but he scored that thunder bastard from nowhere. The moments that followed had Everton on the back foot (unfortunately not for long enough). I was just about drunk silly enough to think that Chelsea would get their second win of the season. I laugh in derision at Saturday lunchtime me.

Roll on Wednesday and the mighty Maccabis

jb xx

* easily the biggest mistake of the transfer window was letting Cech go. Courtois' completely predictable injury is basically rock salt in that big gaping wound