Newcastle vs Chelsea: Toon-ed Out

This man does NOT do early starts

Not sure if after a 500 mile round trip that anyone wants to hear The Proclaimers the manager made ELEVEN mistakes in his team selection that day. ELEVEN! Not that Jose Mourinho has ever been one to inflate things for the media or provide a distraction for the poor quality of football on the pitch. But if there was in fact 11/11 errors made in selection, maybe there should be some sort of compensation for the travelling contingent that saw only three of the those mistakes come over and clap their effort to leave before dawn to see 45 minutes of sub par football.

Of course this is all hindsight and can see back and agree with Mourinho -- but would you really believe yourself? After an exceptionally chippy pre-match presser early Friday morning, it's not really surprising that there's still a bee in the bonnet of Mourinho with his failure to take all three points from St James Park still firmly in tact.

When the starting lineup was announced, it looked like Jose Mourinho had looked to erase the hoodoo of St James Park and finally go with a win. It was arguably his strongest lineup. Not only did he start an in-form Torres, but he reintroduced The Special Juan to Oscar and Hazard. It was all finally coming together. After Mata's performance against Arsenal, he had earned his starting place and always plays well with others (Torres).

Anyone sensible won't have gone into meltdown - so you can be sure there's a fair few meltdowns that have continued through to Monday. The first half seemed to have carried on where Chelsea left off at the Emirates on Tuesday night. Brimming with confidence and fully testing a shaky defence. Corner after corner and a massive header from Terry looked like a goal was coming. Fernando Torres continued to look a threat, but without service was forced out wide to make his own luck. Unfortunately for Chelsea, it wasn't their lucky day - or a day that they'd be awarded a penalty for a foul on their Special Juan because Halsey was concerned "it would have caused a riot in the stadium". Sorry Mark, the only riot that's going to be seen in Newcastle is if the local kebab shop ran out.

The smelliest way to dry one's tears

Although Mourinho's substitutions have been impeccable and often game changing this season, it's fair to say that maybe they were not the ones on Saturday. With Hazard picking up a nasty little knock, it might have been poignant to rest him up for another day. Rather than skipping across the pitch without bending a blade of grass, Hazard spent most of the second half looking like he might have one leg shorter than the other. Fair play for him to soldier on after taking a knock - even with the affable Cheick Tiote off the pitch.

Juan Mata and Fernando Torres were brought off to make for Willian and Eto'o. Within 5 minutes Newcastle scored. I'm not implying that these two events are related…. ahem.

After his extended book tour these past few weeks, Frank Lampard didn't have his head fully in the game and made way for Andre Schurrle. At this point, Chelsea lost some sense of positioning with Branislav Ivanovic often being the furthest player forward. Apparently he's not bought into Eto'o's potential success in the Premier League yet and thought he'd do what he could to compensate. Unfortunately, his roguish plan did not work and Newcastle managed a second goal - and as they've now scored 2 goals in 7 of their 10 matches this season, took their foot off the gas for that final minute sparing Chelsea any further blushes.

By the time Wednesday makes its way to SW6, Jose will have seen sense in his overreaction to that 45 minutes and at least give Petr Cech a start against Schalke.

jb xx