And the RAF from Chelsea Shot Them Down

Drogba: Superhero or European
Cup Winning Superhero?

So after football ended for just everyone else last weekend, there was still everything to play for this weekend for a certain little club in London. West Ham. They will now have the privilege of playing European Champions next season, so well done to the Irons. It’s quite an honour.

So with a plucky rag tag bunch of millionaires footballers literally against all the odds, Chelsea did the unthinkable and just went and won themselves the European Cup. Anyone who threw money on them when 3-1 down to Napoli could arguably find themselves in their own yacht next to Roman this summer - in Monaco. Putting his entire pay off on that bet was possibly the best thing AVB has ever done. Who’s really laughing now?

With John Terry removing himself from the penalty shootout whilst in Barcelona, he was still laboured with the task of the players available to RDM for team selection. How would he accomplish this? Typical Terry style team talks ahead of the match and half time? Maybe. Maneuvering his way into the technical area to shout at David Luiz until his curls fall out organize the defense? No. John Terry opted to inspire the team in his versatility of fashion choices. 

Terry has taken his time in the West End too far and had more costume changes than the cast of Wicked. Without actually being able to play, Terry opted to contribute to the occasion in case the actual match got a little dry. How? By living his entire match day through costume.

Terry began in his D&G suit, looking respectable as one expects upon arrival. The next time the camera panned to him, he had moved on to his CL Adidas warm up gear. Other sports good companies are available. And by the time the camera lost interest in Ribery’s shots going so wide that they are now in Frankfurt, he was in his kit. How he didn’t end up trading his shirt with Luiz Gustavo - or at least pretend he did so he could work his patented shirtless armband look while joining Lampard to lift the EUROPEAN CUP. Of course, with Lampard wearing the captain’s armband on the night, it could have created a really awkward moment.

But the man of the hour, and by hour I mean 120 minutes plus penalties, is of course one Didier Drogba. Rumours are rampant that the EUROPEAN CUP winning penalty could be his last for Chelsea, it’s not the first time that there has been stories surrounding his where he will play next season. But with Lampard and Terry starting the ‘We want you to stay’ chant from the bus yesterday, it’s very possible that he’ll continue annoying Arsenal / any opponent at Wembley / haters of comedy next season. Word on the street is that those two seem to have a little pull within the club.*

Of course, I am having to report this chant as hearsay. Why would I not attend a parade of such a surprising historic event tremendous result? Due to excellent planning from the council to plan a parade to celebrate a victory which would be seen by no one who actually went to Germany to support the club. Most supporters were somewhere en route back to London when the parade ruined the lives of residents in and around the Fulham Road. Conversely, what everyone at the parade missed was an escapee from the English Garden doing his best impression of Anfield Cat. It was later discovered that he was Steven Gerrard a Liverpool supporter trying to relive past glories in Europe. Steven Gerrard the man was last seen stroking Sepp Blatter the Carling Cup a replica found in Marienplatz and uttering ‘my precious’.

For those of you hoping to have read tales of some naughty behaviour from England’s latest victory over Germany, you’ll be disappointed to know that just about everyone on both sides behaved themselves. The police in jumpsuits and berets were clearly intimidating enough to maintain the hooliganism to some smokebombs, handbags in the city centre and one fan who climbed a statue and refused to get down.** Who wouldn’t be afraid of men bold enough to walk around like that in public?

So a congratulations to Chelsea is in order for putting Tottenham back on Channel Five. Take your time and just revel in that. Before of course this summer’s aging squad / Drogba’s contract / Chelsea manager / Torres’ moodiness takes over the headlines... oh.

jb xx

* Editor’s Note: It has been widely reported throughout Twitter L’Equipe essentially everywhere except the club website that Didier Drogba will in fact be leaving the club. He wanted to ensure that he told his teammates to their faces and ended on the biggest high that he possibly could. Stamford Bridge will never be quite the same.

** For those of you worried about said drunken legend - he was physically forced off by the police who utilized the services of a fire truck and cherry picker. Although initially seen off by these beret wearing lawmen, he returned in moments to randomly start a fight with someone. This man’s name was not Joey Barton.